Peace Out, Titan.

Alright. I've been too ashamed to tell everyone this news, but it must be done. I got rid of Titan a few days ago. I was seriously about to have a nervous breakdown. I had finally potty-trained him, but all day long, all he did was chew on stuff and jump all over my kids. I spent my entire day finding out where he was in the house and taking things out of his mouth. I'd be showering, and Dylan or Sadie would inevitably come into the bathroom, crying, because Titan had gotten too excited and bitten or scratched them. I had to keep all bedroom and bathroom doors closed, because he would find things to destroy. I have torn ligaments in my hip, and it's extremely painful to bend over, yet that's what I did all day long, to keep him out of things, to keep him from destroying things, etc. I was also concerned about when our baby comes in June. I would like to give the baby tummy time and floor play time, and was the dog going to jump all over him? Lick his face until the baby can't breathe?? Ben and I had been talking for a few weeks about maybe giving him to a new home, but we always felt too guilty to do it. He really loved that dog, but he said he would support whatever I needed to do, because I'm the one at home with the dog all day.

I can't remember if it was Monday or Tuesday, but I was mixing tuna fish in the kitchen for lunch. Dylan asked if he could vacuum the couch, and I was like, well, sure. If that's what you want to do... After about five minutes, I went to the living room to tell Dylan that he had probably vacuumed enough. Dylan had taken the cushions off the couch to vacuum them, and the dog was on the bottom of the couch, where there are springs and stuffing, and there's a liner over them. He had torn the liner off and was taking all the stuffing out. I was like, ahhhhhh!!!! So I put the stuffing back in, and kind of...tucked the lining in, and replaced the cushions, thinking, jeez, that's another thing he has destroyed... And I go back into the kitchen to finish the tuna sandwiches, and Titan had pulled the bowl of tuna mix off the counter and was eating it. I was like, THAT IS IT.

I took the kids with me and took Titan to the pound, straightaway. I knew he'd get adoped in a millisecond, because he's a purebred. I took his paperwork and everything. So we get into the foyer, and I'm about to pay the fee to turn Titan over, and some people were leaving. They had been looking for a dog and hadn't really found anything, and they stopped in their tracks when they saw Titan. They couldn't believe I was getting rid of him, but I explained my situation. I explained that he is the sweetest dog ever, but I just couldn't play with him as much as he needed. He's a hunting dog, after all - meant to be active. And I'm just so busy with the kids and the house. The people were looking for a hunting dog and a companion for their golden retriever. They live on two acres in Shelley, and their kids are older (less likely to be trampled by Titan). They asked if they could have Titan, and I said yes. They seem like they will be a really good family for him. I gave them his paperwork and all his toys and dog biscuits. I told the kids to say goodbye to Titan, and they were like, "See ya!" They seriously didn't care one bit!!

I've been really sad, off and on - I've even cried a couple of times - because like I said, I thought he was so sweet. And I feel really guilty. I always thought I was a dog person, but apparently, I'm not. But I need to respect my emotional state, you know? Sometimes, Sadie or Dylan asks where Titan is, and I remind them that we gave Titan to a new family, and they go, oh yeah. And then they return to playing. Ben has been sad, too, but he has been supportive of my decision. He really is more of a cat person, anyways. But we're NOT getting another animal for many, many years - and not a dog ever again. (Plus, I'm allergic to all cats but persians.) I just don't want to clean up another animal's pee and poop anymore, you know? I'm busy cleaning up my daughter's pee and poop. I'm sick of my life revolving around pee and poop!! I don't need the bother. I'm stressed out enough.

And my life feels about 70 times easier. I'm serious. I can take off my shoes and not put them in the closet right away. I always had to put them away immediately, or the dog would chew on them. I can sit on the couch with a blanket on my legs, and there's no dog chewing on the blanket incessantly, no matter how many times I shoved him away. The kids are no longer getting bludgeoned. My load feels considerably lighter. It's made a huge difference. I know this was the right decision, but it was still really hard.

I wanted to put the last few pictures I took of Titan on here, but it's too hard for me to look at them. I hope all of you don't think the worse of me for having done this. I feel like a cold-hearted snake, as Paula Abdul would say. I've learned my lesson. And I hope Titan is okay.