Dylan the Wuss!

A few months ago, I asked Dylan if he wanted to try to play soccer. We had seen kids playing soccer when we drove by schoolyards, and he has a little fake soccer ball that he likes to kick, so he's a little bit familiar with it. He enthusiastically said yes. So I paid my $40 and signed him up for spring soccer.

What a mistake.

This kid is the biggest wanny I have ever seen! If he trips and falls, he comes running to the sidelines, crying as if his best friend just got murdered. If he doesn't make a goal because the ball went out of bounds or because someone on the opposing team stole it away, he again weeps pitifully.

I'm ashamed to say that he inherited his weepiness from me. I went through a bad crying phase in elementary school. If I didn't get picked first for kickball teams, I cried for like an hour. If I missed a kickball catch, or got tagged out, I cried and cried and cried. I've always been a little over-sensitive. I hope I've gotten a little thicker-skinned since then.

What they do for Dylan's age group is that they all meet together at one place, every single team. And they all warm up together. Then they split up into teams, and they practice for about half an hour. Then they play a little game with another team for half an hour. Dylan did okay in practice, for the most part:

Ben took a picture of their team, telling them to pick their boogers and to say, "I like boogers!":

But, at the end of practice, Dylan tripped and fell, and that was it. He was in boob mode. He cried and cried about that until I took his arm and marched him back out to finish practice. Then he had to use the bathroom, so he cried and cried about that. We had to walk quite a ways to the bathroom, so all the way there, he's all, "I hate this! I hate soccer! I want to go home! I never want to play soccer again!"

So I told him that, since I paid $40 to get him into soccer (because he had said he wanted to), that he could quit soccer if he worked for me around the house, cleaning, mopping, etc. for 40 hours. He thinks this is a great deal.

After our potty trek, his game started, and it was basically a half-hour crying fest:

So sad. I don't care if Dylan doesn't end up liking sports. I just thought it might be nice to get his wiggles out. And, after this season, if he doesn't want to do soccer ever again, then I'm fine with it. But I think it's important for him to learn that you need to finish what you start, even if you don't like it. His team depends upon him being there. If he ends up hating all sports (I signed him up for t-ball a few weeks ago, so we'll see if that is also a cry-fest), he doesn't have to play them. As long as he keeps physically active. If he likes to ride his bike, or roller blade, or whatever, then he can do that. I just don't want to raise a couch potato.

As for working the $40 off, he hasn't mentioned it. I'm sure he'll actively pursue that topic again this Saturday, after the 2-hour practice/play session (a.k.a. torture fest) is over.