Pages

Friday, May 2, 2008

My Mother Bear Instinct


Okay. So, dude, I have to vent about my neighbors for a minute. They drive me crazy! Actually, the parents are really nice, but their kids are...interesting. There are three of them, and they remind me of those ragamuffin kids in that book, The Best Christmas Pageant Ever. They play in our front yard, instead of their own, and they leave their toys all over our yard. They throw their trash in our yard. When they play with Dylan, they keep asking me for food and drinks. I won't let them inside, because they trash my house whenever they come in, and they beg for food. I always tell them to go to their own house to eat and drink (we can't afford to feed them, plus ourselves). They are filthy and their hair is never combed.

One of them in particular really gets under my skin. She is Dylan's age - her two siblings are aged six and seven. She has some kind of speech impediment - she talks as badly as Sadie, and she's almost five. I can't figure out if there is something wrong with her, mentally, as well. She seems normal, but she lacks some basic social knowledge. We have these huge windows at the front of our house, and you can stand on our front porch and look right in. Well, that's what she does. All the time. She'll stand there and stare inside, even if Dylan is at preschool and Sadie is napping. It's really quite creepy. One time, she and Dylan were playing outside, and it was time for dinner. So I went out and said, "Dylan, it's time to come in for dinner. Dylan will play with you another day, Ashlynn. See you later." And she wouldn't move. She's standing at the window, watching us while we are eating. So Ben bangs on the window to scare her off, and she jumps and runs away. You would think that would scare her off forever, but nope. She always comes back for more.

Another night, I called Dylan in for dinner, and she gave me the skankiest, meanest look, like, "How dare you take away my friend??" And I said, "See you later, Ashlynn. It's time for you to go home." And she didn't go home. She stared at me through our windows and screamed at me in her unintelligible jibber-jabber. So I go on the porch, and I say, "Ashlynn, you can't be screaming at me on my front porch. You need to go home now." She just stayed put and stared me down. So I said, "Okay, I'll go get your dad to come and get you." So I start walking next door, and she got scared and ran home. So I head back to my house, and she turns around at her front door and yells at me, "Stop FOLLOWING me!!" I'm like, dude, whatever. She still showed up the next day. Like I said. Always coming back for more.

So a couple of days ago, she REALLY ticked me off. It had rained earlier that day, and the kids were kind of pushing toy trucks around in this muddy area next to our house. I was fine with it. Kids get muddy sometimes. What I wasn't cool with was this - Ashlynn threw mud in Sadie's face, getting it all in her mouth. Sadie comes running into the house, screaming, and I had to sit and wipe out the inside of her mouth to get all the mud out. My mother bear instinct was awakened - I was really, really angry. So I march out and go, "Dylan, it's time to come in." And Dylan's like, "Why?" And I yelled, loudly enough for all three kids to hear, "Because we don't play with kids who throw mud at two-year-olds." So I bring Dylan in and slam the door. I had decided that was it - no more playing with the ragamuffins.

Well, last night, when I was at work, Ben let them play outside together. Duh. He knew what happened, but apparently it didn't bother him as much as it bothered me. So whatever. So Ben calls the kids in for dinner, and of course, Ashlynn stands at our front window, staring at my family while they're eating. And then she starts licking the window. So Ben, ever the P.R. expert, opens the door and yells, "Go lick your own damn windows, you freaking retard!!" So she ran away, but you can bet she'll be back today for more.

So here's my question - should I go talk to her parents about this? I just don't know how much more of this I can stand. I know I have to be careful, because they could be our neighbors forever. You never know. But I was thinking of just going over and asking to speak to the mom or dad in private, and telling them of some of these disturbing things, and asking them to keep a tighter watch on Ashlynn. What do you think?? Sorry about the long post. I'm just really frustrated.

8 comments:

  1. I would go over there and talk to the parents. Her throwing Mud is not cool and well her licking your window is just gross. Next time you should tell her "thank you, for licking the bird poop off my window".

    We too have neighbors that like to throw rocks at our dog. I have caught them twice and if I see it again I am going to going to tell the parents!

    But you or Ben need to give the kids parents a heads up on what they are doing.
    Good luck and keep me posted on what you do :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. That sounds terrible. i have the bestest neighbors in the whole world. (grin) Thank Heavens! I don't know what I would do.

    Licking the windows is gross and throwing mud is uncalled for.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh my gosh. That is enough to drive you crazy everyday. How awful. I would definitely talk to the parents. Enough is enough, especially when you have it at your own house.

    ReplyDelete
  4. ok, here is what I would do. This is the way I would let the parents know there is an issue but not make them enemies.

    I would take an opportunity (sans kids if possible) and go over and talk to her mom. Tell her you are concerned about her daughter. That you son seams to really enjoy playing with her and you would love to see him be able to have a friend that lives so close. Gently state that some of the things she does are not socially appropriate and that you are concerned she may get teased when she gets older if nothing is done. Tell them that she was licking your window and you are afraid she will get sick by doing that. Ask if maybe they could talk to her about hurting younger children and the consequences of doing that (aka other kids not wanting to play with her or other kids parents not wanting to have her around their young children for fear of the young child getting hurt) and repecting adults (the fact that she doesn't listen when you say "go home"), and the fact that she does not respect other peoples privacy. Let them know that she tends to stand and watch you in your own home... is there something you could both do to discourage that? Do you have a big curtain you could close when she does that?

    I have found that the best way to pring up thinks like this is to sandwich them. :) Aka something good about the little girl, then soemthing not so good, then something good. So they don't feel like you are attacking otherwise their "mother bear" instincts may get in the way.

    I dunno, that is the best advice I can give here. Sorry, that is definately NOT a fun situation to be in. My parents had the same problem with some kids I lived near when I was little and lived in UT.

    ReplyDelete
  5. That would totally creep me out. You really should talk to the parents, or you could send Dylan over to stare in their window ;)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Do you live in my neighborhood? Except there are 5 over here and we call them the orphans. Creepy 16 year old with mental compromises, 11, and 10 year old whom Ethan likes to play with. Five year old girl with serious matted hair and sppech impetiment. And the little two year old who I've witnessed walking across the road in December in a diaper. (I did take him back home at least.) The five year old girl is our peeping Tom and one time when my mom was visiting she went outside and told her that it was illegal and she would call the police who wold take her away from her momma. Not nice, but she has only done it once since. (And that was over a year ago.) I just got so sick of telling her to get out of my bushes! Good luck Kar- I feel your pain!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm glad I haven't had to deal with that! Like Arin, I have the best neighbors in the world! :) I'd probably just give a ton of glares and make snide comments to the kids, though that usually doesn't get through to kids... Hmmm. Kim would come over every second when we lived on Lariat, and one time I totally yelled at her to go home; I was all of three years older than her! Wow, I'm a jerk!

    ReplyDelete
  8. It totally reminds me of those kids from the book "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever." It makes me laugh.

    I'm like a mother bear, too. My poor kids are doomed. I freak out when about my siblings and my horses and my dogs and my parents and my in-laws and my husband and my friends....it will be a million times worse with my kids. I hope that I don't embarrass them too much.

    ReplyDelete

Sorry, dude, because of spammers, you'll have to await comment moderation. But please still comment!! Blog comments are my love language. ;) I promise I'll moderate until there's no tomorrow and get yours up and on the blog within a day or two.