Reaching New Lows

Last Wednesday was such a HARD day for me. The kids were acting insane. My cousin, Kort, and I have a theory - spring is in the air. It's making our kids a little crazy. Hers were acting nutty that day, too. I was stuck with these tyrant children of mine all day long, and then Ben had a stupid basketball game that night, so I was stuck alone with them again.

Micah does this scream-bloody-murder thing lately (which is my FAVORITE), and he was in his high chair, screaming, not eating, and throwing his food.

I lost it.

I started throwing food back at him. I would pick up a piece of hot dog or string cheese, throw it at his face, and yell at him. I think the following words escaped my mouth: "You make my life a living HELL!!!"

His face was so funny - just total shock. My kids' faces, too. I look back now and giggle, because it's so ludicrous, but at the time, I felt like I was losing my mind. When Ben came home from enjoying exercise without children, I was lying on the couch, staring at the wall. "You are in a bad place now, aren't you?" he said. "Yep," said I.

Do I need to up my dosage of anti-depressants? Maybe. All I want to do is sleep. All day. All night. I hide from my children in my bed or the bathtub. I don't care about doing things that I usually care about doing. I have so much RAGE inside. All of these are red flags. We'll see. I might talk to the doc about it next week at my appointment. It's just been a hard couple of weeks for me.

Thanks for listening.