The Bounty Hunters

So dude. Do you ever watch this show?:

I think it is so, so, so funny. Dog takes himself very seriously indeed. It's just hard for me to take him seriously with that hair of his. And is it necessary to wear black leather studded gloves and stuff like that? Maybe it is, in his line of work. I also watch a show called Billy the Exterminator on A&E. Billy dresses even crazier than Dog does. He's an exterminator, right? But he has all these chains and studs on his shoulders and gloves, and this big old cowboy hat with all this bling on it... don't those get in the way when he's trying to catch snakes, raccoons, bats, etc.? I'm just sayin'. Billy also takes himself very seriously. And he also has ludicrous hair. We're talking a mullet with spikes on the top, but two pretty little tendrils that go down at each temple. I seriously really love watching that show. Billy is really nice, despite his ludicrousness. So is Dog. I love when Dog is talking to the criminals he catches and saying, "You gotta find Jesus, bra. I was like you, but then I found Jesus."

So anyways. The reason I bring Dog up is that we had a special incident tonight with our across the street we-think-she's-a-drug-dealer neighbor. I was saying goodbye to Ben on the front porch before heading off to work, and we hear screaming from the Drug Dealer's house: "Get her OFF me!! GET HER OFF ME!" We could hear slapping and altercation-like sounds. I told Ben to call the police. Just then, little Katie, Drug Dealer's daughter, comes running across the road with her teddy bear in her arms, eyes as huge as saucers. "Can I stay at your house for awhile? There are scary ladies yelling in my house." I rushed her inside.

Ben stayed out there while on the phone with 911, describing the scene. Some blonde lady came running out of the house and down the street. A few seconds later, she pulled up in a big, red truck with three dudes. They were all really well-dressed. They all run inside. They come outside with some brunette lady (I don't know how the brunette lady got there - there were zero cars in the driveway), and her hands are tied behind her back. I was like, oh my GOSH, these people are kidnapping this lady!!! Finally, the police car pulls up, and the blonde lady goes right up to him and says, "Hi, I'm Natalie with such-and-such Bail Enforcement."

Ohhhhhhhh! So she and her three co-horts were Bounty Hunters! So the police guy checked their papers or whatever and let them drive away with Brunette Lady. Drug Dealer talked to the policeman, and then the policeman wanted to talk to Ben. Drug Dealer went inside with poor Katie. Apparently, Drug Dealer's little brunette friend skipped bail and was hiding at Drug Dealer's house. The bounty hunters knew that those two were friends and came over to catch her. Drug Dealer told me that she had called the police even before we did, because she didn't want to get into trouble for hiding a fugitive or whatever. Who knows if that's true.

Yeah. Super awesome. In the past, when Katie has asked if Sadie can come over and play, or if Sadie can spend the night, I've kind of re-directed her - "Why don't you guys stay here and have some popsicles?" Or, "Sadie's too young to spend the night." Now, I will have a legitimate excuse whenever she asks and I say no: "Your house isn't safe, Katie."

Ben told the police officer that he thinks Drug Dealer is, well, a drug dealer. The police officer said that she had been suspected of the same thing in her old neighborhood, and that they have had their eye on her for awhile. He gave Ben his card and told him to call anytime. Ben assured him that he sure would.

Sigh.