So, Senator, So, Janitor...

Dear men who use the restrooms at the office I clean:

The very youngest of you is in his late twenties. That means, presumably, that you have been potty-trained for several years. Perhaps you've forgotten what your mamas taught you. You pee in the toilet. You aim, and you pee. And it's a pretty big target, that toilet bowl. I'm trying to figure out why there is pee all over the surrounding walls (up to waist height) and all over the floor. I gag every time I have to clean your bathrooms. Do you not feel embarrassed when you pee on the walls, or do you even NOTICE?? I know you know who I am, and that I clean up after you. How about a little kindness?

It does not take seventeen kleenexes to blow one's nose. Just one; maybe two, tops. And when you blow your nose, you need to blow. Not just kind of wipe while sucking in. I'm seeing seventeen kleenexes in a bunch with just one drop of dried boogers on it. I'm literally changing kleenex boxes every single day. Waste not, want not, dudes.

And the reason I'm seeing these kleenexes, used seventeen at a time, is because you aren't throwing your garbage in the garbage can. You're throwing it in the general direction of the garbage can. And you're not making it. There are kleenexes and paper towels all over the floor in that corner. So I have to touch your nasty germy used paper supplies every day when I take out the trash. Thanks for that.

Lastly, which of you is reading People Magazine on the pot? Isn't that a little...girly??? There aren't any People magazines on the reception room table, because they're in the men's bathroom. And I'm sure the women who come in to our office don't appreciate that. I don't know lots of women who like to read Sports Illustrated. I have to touch your potty germs again to return those magazines back to the reception room. And I wonder if I should spray them with Lysol before putting them back on the table, seriously. I also am sure that the women who come into our office don't want to touch your potty germs, either.

My husband's boss says that everyone should be a janitor sometime; that they would be more considerate of janitors if they only knew what we have to deal with. True dat.

Sincerely,
Your Janitress, Kar