Dude, I've had it up to here with Gage and Micah's O.T. I was just going to kind of wait it out until Micah graduates from the Infant/Toddler program in May, but now that Gage has qualified because of his torticollis, I'm stuck with her for like another two and a half years. I don't think I can do it anymore.
She is sooooo judgmental of me. And she gives me the third degree every single week:
OT: So how has Gage been eating this week?
Me: You know, not that great. I find that he's too full after cereal and veggies to drink his bottle. So I wait an hour and then give him the bottle.
OT: Does he like his veggies?
Me: Yeah; I put a little sugar in them. I've done that with all four kids.
OT: You are NOT supposed to put sugar in their veggies. Then they all taste the same, and they won't acquire the taste needed to enjoy veggies in later life. Do your other kids like veggies?
Me: Um, Micah doesn't, but Dylan and Sadie do.
OT: Are you sure?
Me: Uh, yeah... And doesn't squash with sugar just taste like...squash with sugar? And doesn't green beans taste like green beans with sugar? I don't think they necessarily all taste the same.
OT: Trust me on this one. How do you feed Gage his veggies and cereal?
Me: Um, veggies first, then cereal.
OT: Do you ever mix them?
Me: Nah, but my husband does.
OT: That is a BAD idea. Then Gage will get confused about differentiating tastes. Tell your husband not to do that anymore.
And on and on. As the Black-Eyed Peas would say, "On and on and on and on and..... onandonandonandonand..."
And she tells me roughly ten zillion things I'm supposed to do with all of my kids every single day. Not only for Gage and Micah, but also things that I'm supposed to do with Dylan and Sadie. Based on her meeting each of them, like, once. If I did everything she said to do, then I would never cook dinner. Or go pee. Or take a shower. Seriously. And some of the things she tells me to do contradict one another. I'm supposed to give him two hours of tummy time. And two hours of side-lying time. And two hours of practicing-sitting time. But if we did that, he would never take a nap, you know? Yet I'm supposed to give him three to four naps per day.
I'm trying to do as much as possible, but I'm kind of stretched thin here. I'm taking care of four kids, plus a neighbor girl 24/7, I swear (the drug dealer's daughter. I actually took her with us when we got haircuts, and paid for her to get her hair cut, too. It was gross). I work roughly 20 hours a week at my job. I'm up at 7 and to bed at midnight. My husband doesn't do much cleaning or cooking, so it all falls to me. There's only so much that one girl can do, you know?
And here's the thing - my OT doesn't have any kids. So I don't think she understands my time constraints. Or my stress level.
I just miss the good old days, when Micah liked his OT, Lisa. She would come, work with him, give me a couple of ideas, and leave. And the next week, she didn't put me in the hot seat about it.
I think I told you that Micah and the OT fought for an entire hour over him eating one grape, right?? The other day, they fought the entire hour over him unzipping a zipper on a purse. She wanted him to unzip the zipper. He didn't want to. He tried to get away. She held her legs around him to keep him there. He screamed for an entire hour. She spent the entire hour saying, "Wow, you must really let him get away with murder. It's like he's not used to hearing the word 'no.'" And me saying, "No, trust me, I don't let him get away with murder. He's just stubborn." Tired of the judging, dude.
I know that I need to call and arrange a different OT for us, but I've been putting it off. I just don't want to be one of THOSE parents, who are like, "Wahhh, this is hard, I'm quitting." Like the parents of the students I used to teach, who, when their kid messed around in my class and got a bad grade as a result, transferred their kid to a different teacher. You know what I mean? I don't want Micah growing up to think that it's okay to give something up just because it's hard, or that if you don't like a person with whom you're working, that you can immediately get someone new. So for now, I'm just... thinking. And complaining. :)
Okay, I think if she wasn't being so judgmental You might have a reason to fear being one of "those parents".
ReplyDeleteI probably would have given her the what for by now... then again, I'm an ass like that lol.
next time she is being all judgy, maybe you should tell her that she is coming off really badly and you are doing the best you can. If she takes it badly simply tell her you have enough to deal with without feeling like you have someone looking down on you.
Hopefully she will watch it a little closer and if not, duuuude, get a different OT. She isn't helping anyone with an attitude like that.
ohh ok i would seriously throw her through the window! I would be a calling for a new OT- Micah will not be like "Yes my mom got a new one cause the other was hard" I think and believe that children can feel what others are thinking of them- so if this B-OTCH is fed up with him and such he is going to feel it- If she asks you those questions to your face- what does she say behind your back!?
ReplyDeleteOh man i would not put up with that at all!! get a NEW OT :)
Dude, that's so rude. If it were me, I would just tell her that I really appreciate the work she is doing for my kids, but I do NOT appreciate her rude and judgmental comments. They are not constructive to the situation nor do they bolster confidence. If she doesn't change then tell her peace out...or just tell her peace out.
ReplyDeleteAND, I totally mix the veggies with cereal! :)
Honey, get rid of her! You will not being the annoying mom. She should NOT be treating you or your kids like that. Just hearing those stories about her make me cringe. In fact, you would be better off without her. As a parent, you know best. Sorry to sound like that haha, but ya not a fan! I can come and be a lot better! :) Okay I will stop. I love you Kar and you are so nice. Oh and taking that girl to get a hair cut, wow, you are a great example!
ReplyDeleteGet rid of her and do it now...Just like someone else said I sure Micah can feel the tension that she is creating in your home and that isn't going to help him progress in the ways he needs too.
ReplyDeleteI can not stand when there are people who come in with all their book answers not having any children of their own and don't really have a clue what they are talking about. I can say this cause I know she doesn't read this and you don't know her but that was my sister in law to a T she was a teacher for autistic kids so she thought she had the answers on all parenting even though she didn't have any kids...I have four and boy did she think she knew better then I did on just about everything...she now has just one child who is only 6 months old and has no clue what is coming her way....
I say you need to take that OT bag her and tag her and call it good...she doesn't help when she makes you feel like crap which micah feels and sees, no one will think less of you and it sounds like the rest of us here support you in doing it!!!! Good luck!!
I AGREE!! You need to get a new OT. Emily said he won't know that you gave in because she was hard. He doesn't like her so he doesn't want to deal with her and he doesn't. They spend 1 hour doing one thing? That's ridiculous!! I know Micah is stubborn, but it's her job to WORK with him, not annoy him and judge you!! If you don't get a new one, I'll get one for you:) hehe Good luck!!
ReplyDeleteThere is a difference between quitting and doing what you feel is best for you and your kids. This lady sounds NUTSO! And I would have called an gotten rid of her a long time ago. Micah will still be working with an OT, he doesn't know the difference. How is he (and how are you) going to progress through this if you have someone who clashes so much with his personality!?! I wouldn't be able to handle it. Maybe the work she is doing is good, but maybe it needs to be approached differently (every family/child is different afterall!) and if she can't do that - then obviously she isn't the right fit for your family. Plain and simple.
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
PS. I get reallllllly aggravated when people tell me I am parenting wrong. Her job is to help Micah and like you said- give you suggestions...NOT to tell you how to be a parent. Ugh!
It looks like your other friends have said what I was going to say. Dump her. In the mean time don't tell her the truth! Leave out all unimportant details and things that are none of her business. In fact it might be fun to keep her and tell her everything she wants to here.
ReplyDeleteGive her up - you've got enough going on in your life. You need people who BUILD you up! Not people to tear you down - no matter who they are.
ReplyDeleteAlso - I know how you feel about being ovewhelmed - the other night, I just lay in bed thinking about all the stuff we're supposed to be doing....taking care of the kids, cleaning, cooking, playing, reading scriptures, having FHE, visiting teaching, caring for the sick and needy...and I was like STOP IT ALL! I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE! So, my new moto - is to just TRY the best I can to do a little better each day. Some days will be good, other days not so good and hopefully in the long run I'll be better off.
I also have to remember that there is a TIME and SEASON for everything - right now is my FAMILY season. Hopefully in a few years I will have a studying scriptures, going to the temple and reading the Ensign season - but right now - I just can't do it.
Thanks for the post!
So, what is happening with her? I see your thoughts, but I think she's being more than just 'difficult'...
ReplyDelete