Micah-isms

My dear friend, Em E., does this thing on her blog every now and then called "Mary-isms" - things that her little toddler says. Mary is hilarious.

Micah is finally starting to talk a little more, so in honor of his recent verboseness, I'm taking a page from Em's book and writing down some Micah-isms for ya.

My Yiddish-Speaking Son

Micah has a hard time saying the "fl" blend. You would think that he would drop the "l" and just use the "f." Instead of "flying," most kids his age probably say "fying."

Not our little Mikey. He turns all "fl"-starting words into "schl"-starting words. "Flip-flops" are "schlip-schlops." "Flowers" are "schlowers." "Flying" is "schlying." How "schl" is easier to say than "fl" is beyond me. He could be Jewish. You know how they have "sch"-starting words in Yiddish - schnook, schmo, schmaltz, schnoz, shmuck, schmear, schtick, etc. "Schlemiel! Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated!"

It's Go Time

On the Urban Dictionary Online, under "It's go time," is the following:

1) phrase meaning, "I challenge you to a streetfight," usually accompanied by the challenger assuming a fighting stance.

2) phrase accepting such a challenge to a streetfight, a.k.a., "I'm sick of you insulting my mamma! It's go time, you punk-arse beeotch!" (Edited by moi. You're welcome.)

For Mikey, "It's go time" means, "I'm bored, and we need to go do something." Or sometimes he'll use it as a question: "It's go time???" If he sees me putting on shoes, he asks that question a lot. And then he gets mad if he's not invited, like, to my spinning class, or to work. :) Sometimes it's only "go time" for mom, honey.

I not yours.

This is Micah's retort to almost anything:

Micah: Baff time?

Me: No, Mikey, you already took a bath today. It's Gage's turn for a bath.

Micah: NOOOOOOOO!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I not YOURS!!!!

I have a theory from whence this phrase derived - his dear sister, Sadie. Often, often, often, Micah steals Sadie's toys. When Sadie discovers that Micah is playing with her toys, she will often, often, often say, "It's not yours, Micah!" So I think that's where he picked up that fun little phrase.

I sap you.

No, this does not mean that Micah will start playing "Lady in Red" on our CD player. Or turn on Letters to Juliet or something. (*Writer's note: I do not own "Lady in Red." It's neither on my imaginary iPod, nor on my imaginary iTunes account on my computer. Nor do I own whoever sang "Lady in Red"'s CD. Just to let you know. Also, I refuse to rent Letters to Juliet. It looks reeeeeeeeeeeeeally sappy. I am anti-sap. Anti-cheese. Give me a good action flick or comedy any day of the week.)

"I sap you" means "I'm going to slap you." It's used as a threat, obviously. When I'm not giving him what he wants. For example:

Micah: I want canny. [candy]

Me: I don't have any candy, Micah.

Micah: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I SAP YOU!!!

The threat is usually accompanied by a finger pointed crookedly at my face. You know how street thugs, like, hold their gun a little crooked when they're threatening to shoot someone? I mean, I haven't seen this phenomenon in real life, but I've seen it on TV, right? That's how Micah points at people. He doesn't point straight at you. He points a little bit crooked. And with his right hand. This is significant to me, because I have a suspicion he's left-handed. But he always threatens with his right.

Over-emphasized Word Endings

I had a student once who, when she read aloud, over-emphasized the endings of words. "An-duh, the do-guh, wen-tuh, to-uh, the sto-ruh." Hm. That kind of reminds me of Pig Latin. The same basic principles are at work there.

Anyways, Micah is in this phase where he over-emphasizes his word endings, usually on the last word of a sentence. The most common word he does this with is "no." (Are you surprised?) It comes out like, "Noah."

Example:

Me: Micah, it's time for your nap.

Micah: NoAH! It NOT nap time-uh!!!"

Me: Yep, it's nap time. Let's go potty and then go lie down.

Micah: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! No potteeeeyah! I not want-uh go potty-uh!!!

Maybe I prefer the non-talking Micah? Just kidding. He has always screamed. Now I kind of know what he's screaming about. We can have more of a productive conversation/screamfest this way.