July 11

Hey, all,

How is everyone? We miss you all so, so, so much.

Hm. I'm starting to wonder if I'm gonna make it here. I've been praying a whole lot. It's just...impossible to take care of my children here. And to take care of my sanity. I've been feeling pretty low.

We found out that the job site isn't nearly as ready as we were told it was. It won't be ready for Ben's portion until mid- to late August. He will have small things to do every now and then, but until then, he's free. I thought to myself, "Sweet! Then maybe we can go touring around." But Ben flatly informed me that we don't have money yet - for some reason, the Per Diem thing hasn't been set up over here. We've just been spending our own damn money this whole time. So we are stuck in this hotel until that gets arranged. It's been Sunday for you guys, so maybe something will happen tonight while we're sleeping.

Um, they don't vacuum in this hotel. No kidding. We found someone's fingernail in the carpet last night. The housekeepers have been changing the bedding in Ben's and my room, but not in the kids' room. I wonder if it's because it's a little more cluttered in the kids' room. I've been washing the baby's bottle with hot water and my neutrogena face wash, since I can't find liquid dish soap anywhere, and I can't speak the language to find a market. I asked Ben if we could call our assistant to ask for help on these things, and he said they haven't signed official contracts with the girls yet, so we can't utilize them yet.

We did go to McDonalds yesterday (they call it "May down low") for lunch, and thankfully, it tasted normal. It was wonderful. We lost Dylan for a moment - he went to the bathroom (he insisted on going by himself), which was upstairs. We were downstairs ordering food. Then one of the gals helped us get a food and find a table. We couldn't find any downstairs, so we walked upstairs. While we were looking upstairs, Dylan came out of the bathroom, and, not seeing us, went downstairs. And we didn't see him. So he went downstairs, and we were gone. We put our stuff down on a table and I went to the bathrooms to find him, and a nice Chinese guy used hand gestures to tell me that Dylan had gone downstairs. I ran down there, and he was standing there, and I felt awful. Poor sweet kid.

After we ate, we walked around this cool underground shopping center. It was like an underground flea market. Cute, cute clothes. And toys. And anything you could want.

Last night, we wanted pizza. After much wild gesticulation, our taxi driver figured out what we wanted. He took us to a pizza hut! The pizza there was wayyyy better than in the states. For reals. I've never had such good stuffed crust. They had tons and tons of other non-pizza options for people there. It was kind of like a T.G.I. Fridays, with lots of gross Chinese food options. Ben informed me that we can't afford to eat outside the hotel anymore - that if we eat in the hotel, it's part of the hotel bill that Dome is paying for now. So I guess that's the end of that.

Gage slept until, like, 4 a.m. this morning, then was up yelling and crying again. Sigh.

We went down and ate breakfast (the fried rice was all gone, so I had two eggs and some kind of spicy green beans) this morning, then came back and hung out while Gage slept. Now he's awake - Ben's feeding him - and we're going to try to go see this famous thing called The Lotus Pond. I'm glad to be getting out of here.

I'm seriously thinking of just coming home. It would be more fun if I didn't have to worry about them. The normal baby food that doesn't make Gage vomit is dwindling. The kids are bored. I'm bored. We apparently can't go see anything fun or interesting, and I whhate the food. I'm desperately unhappy. If it was a situation where we were in comfortable living arrangements, with Western food, I think I could hack it, maybe. But I can't hack this, guys. I think Ben would be happier without us here, and I think we'd be happier if we were home. I'm going to have a serious talk with him today. I just want to make airplane arrangements and go home. I'll miss Ben, but at least I can raise my kids in a safe and sane environment.

I'll let you know what I decide.

Love,
Kar