In other preparing news, I'm... hoping for the best and preparing for the worst with this pregnancy. I'm still not sick. I'm six weeks along. I should be puking all day and all night. I should have taken permanent residence on the couch. And... nothing. I should be thanking my lucky stars, but I've been down this road before - when I had my miscarriage in between Sadie and Micah. During that pregnancy, I felt fantastic. And the baby died when I was ten weeks along; I found out about it when I was 12 weeks along. I have reason to be concerned.
I'm trying not to think about it. I'm trying to be positive. I'm trying to take care of my body. We'll see what happens, I guess.
I asked Ben for a blessing of comfort the other night, and he didn't say one single word about whether or not this baby is in trouble. He told me after the blessing that the Spirit didn't give him any direction as far as that. The blessing said that I need to trust in the Lord, and to be spiritually in tune, and that if I do these things, the mysteries of God will be opened up to me. A powerful blessing. I couldn't help but be a teeny bit disappointed, though. What I really wanted to hear was, "Your baby is fine, and will grow to term and be perfectly healthy." I'm going to call and make my eight week appointment for a couple of weeks from now, and maybe we'll get more of an idea of what's going on at that point. Until then, I'll pray. I'll read my scriptures. I'll listen to the promptings of the Spirit. And I will do what Heavenly Father wants me to do.
That baby is totally fine. I understand your panic, though. I am sorry you are going through that at such a happy time of life. Your baby woill be fine- mine will be fine and they will grow up being smart and witty and bffs like us!
ReplyDeleteI'll be praying for you. I completely understand your feelings. I was never so grateful for throwing up as I was with my pregnancy after the miscarriage, though it didn't take me long to start whining about it anyways. Maybe your dates are off just a bit. Take one of the tests I sent you wait a few days and take the second and see if the line is getting stronger. Hang in there, Sweetie, I know it is no fun waiting and watching, but know that Heavenly Father knows more than we do and whatever happens is for the best, but I will keep praying that that little baby is growing strong and healthy in there!!
ReplyDeleteI will keep your and your beautiful family in my thoughts and prayers, but it sounds like you and yours are pros at preperation. I'm sure the Lord will take good care of you.
ReplyDeleteTry not to panic. What can I say more? Most people (I know this isn't true for me or you) don't get sick until week seven. Maybe you will just have an easy pregnancy. (Yah, right.) On the other hand, if you are going to miss carry, at least you aren't sick. I know the anxiety is terrible. Hang in there.
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