Well, it's happened. Dylan, unfortunately, heard the F bomb from a neighbor kid. It's not the immediate neighbors, who I have blogged/complained about. It's a neighbor who lives farther down the street, one who I have actually liked a lot, until today.
This kid is four, one year younger than Dylan. He lives with his 20-year-old mom, his two younger sisters, his single grandma, and his great-grandparents, all in one house. His name is Breckin. He is very, very shy around adults. It's not uncommon for him to stare at me when I ask him a question or talk to him. He just stares. He's kind of short and stout, with lots of baby fat on his cheeks. He has been riding a bike, sans training wheels, for a whole year now (Dude, I didn't learn to ride my bike until I was seven, because I was a big fat wus). He looks sooo young. To look at him, you would seriously think he was Sadie's age. So, until I knew his real first name, I started referring to him as "Baby on a Bike." Now my mom, sisters, etc. all refer to him as "Baby on a Bike." It's kind of funny.
Anyways, last night, Ben took Dylan with him to go to the office and pick up something he forgot there.
Dylan goes, "Breckin taught me a new bad word yesterday."
Ben, frowning, said, "What word is it?"
Dylan full on goes, "F you." (But not saying the letter "f." Saying the actual, horrible word.)
Ben, without a word, turned around and smacked Dylan. And he told Dylan that he was never, ever to play with Breckin again. Dylan cried and cried, and I feel bad for him, honestly. So we had a talk this morning, the three of us. We told him that, if we ever heard him saying that word again, he would get his mouth washed out with soap. And we told him to tell Breckin not to use that word ever, ever again.
Lexi thinks I should go talk to Breckin's mom. What do you guys think? I'm not sure what to do. I'm sure Breckin learned it from his mom, probably arguing with her boyfriend, who has sired all three of her children but doesn't live with them. I'm terrified that Dylan will let that word slip when he is in Kindergarten, starting next week. Dylan gets angry often, and he yells mean things when he's mad.
I'm not saying that I'm perfect. I'll be honest - when I hurt myself (and I hurt myself a lot, because I'm a clutz), sometimes the S-word comes flying out of my mouth. And I feel really bad about that, and I'm trying so hard to work on it. And, occasionally, when Dylan is really mad about something, the S-word comes out. When that happens, we have a talk about how it's a bad word, and that I'm bad for saying it, and that he shouldn't say it, either. "Do what I say, not what I do." I know it's hypocritical. So I'm not infallible, not by any means. But I find the F-word soooo offensive. And I'm pretty certain his Kindergarten teacher would find it offensive, too. Maybe I'll pull her aside the first day of school and tell her he learned this word from a neighbor, so if it comes flying out, it's not my fault. :)
So there it is. Another blip in my attempts to raise decent children. Sigh.
6 comments:
oh dear. i'm not sure what i would do. probably just pray he never says it again.
my kids were in to pokemon for a while earlier this month. the main guy's name is ash, and jonah keeps asking what ash likes (to eat, to where, to watch, to do, whatever - so he can be like ash) but it comes out more like as* wipe than ask like. i about died the first time he said it. hopefully he won't ask his primay teacher what as* wipes. :)
That's a touchy subject. I've learned that no matter how well you know the person, or how well you don't, you should never confront a parent about their parenting skills. It will never turn out happy.
That probably wasn't the advice you wanted to hear...sorry.
My Brad learned some nice words too. At the dinner table Brad (about 5 or 6 years old) told me I should kick Brian in the nuts. Then he smiled (apparently it was supposed to be funny). I asked him where he heard it and asked if he knew what it meant. Meanwhile, Brian nearly spit his food out and kept asking,"What did he just say?!!!" over and over.
He also went through a phase of saying, "oh my Go*"
It's hard for little kids when they don't understand how offensive something they said was. Good luck helping him understand what a bad word that is. I think getting smacked by his dad may have made that message clear. I'm with Jenny, pray!
By the way, my one year old is obsessed with flags. (something he picked up from Brad) Everytime he sees one he points and yells, "flag flag flag!" But it really sounds a lot like the word your son said. And you'd be surprised how many flags there are everywhere!!
Man, that is crazy. I don't blame Ben for his reaction, that had to be a shocker for both of them! I would probably not attempt a confrontation with the mother, unless it happens again. I think pulling aside the teacher is a good idea, that way she can be on the look out and you can have an ally not an enemy! I am scared to see what Kaitlyn will learn from other kids, chances are she will learn some spanish swear words too.
Jake started saying "What the He!!". Yep, got it from Spiderman. We just explained to him that it wasn't nice to say, and not everyone knows how mean it can be, and that's why those people say it in the movie, but we don't say it. So now whenever we're watching that movie and they say that phrase, both Jake and Brock say, "Don't say that! That's a bad word!" And same with "dam*" that they also say in that movie. The other phrase was "Oh my Go*", and I told Jakob that that's being mean to Heavenly Father when we say that. He seemed to understand that. Good luck, and I would totally tell the teacher.
I thought about telling Brock's nursery teachers about some things he said, just so they would know what the words really were and that they weren't bad words, that they just came out wrong, like Anjie's son with "flag". Brock's was "frog"-totally sounded like you'd think it would!
You could do what Ralphie's mom does in the movie, and she calls the other mom, just so she knows and so she's aware that her son knows that phrase.
Oh the lovely F bomb. Shawna dropped that last year. (she heard it on the bus). We have a rule that if you hear a word that You may think is bad but not sure, You can say the word once to us (Shawn or myself) and if it is bad than never again or you will be in trouble.
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