Listening to the Spirit

So a couple of weeks ago, I had this huge meltdown. I've told you this before - every couple of weeks, I just bawl my eyes out, because I'm just so sick of feeling SICK. Sick of having no energy to take care of my house properly. Sick of everything. I had Ben give me a blessing. I probably ask him wayyyy too often for this, but it really helps me. And he's very kind about giving me blessings when I ask for them.

I always hope that blessings when I'm pregnant will say, "You are HEALED! Laaaaaaa!" and all of the horrible things I have to deal with suddenly disappear. I know they could, if Heavenly Father wanted it. But He isn't going to let that happen for me right now. And that's fine. He knows all, not me. Someday I'll look back and see why I suffered so terribly to bring my kids here. I may not understand why until after I'm on the other side, and again, that's okay.

So, of course, I wasn't miraculously healed, dang it. But the blessing said, over and over again, "Listen to the Spirit." And I felt sheepish. It's pretty hard to listen to the Spirit when my kids scream at each other all day, and when I'm either barfing or feeling like I'm going to barf all day. I don't have a lot of quiet, meditative moments in my life right now. So I've been trying harder to leave room in my cluttered brain for the Spirit.

As soon as I started trying to listen more, bam. It hit me. For whatever reason, we aren't supposed to put our kids into this charter school. Not that there is anything wrong with the charter school - like I said before, there are a million good reasons for our kiddies to go there. It's just not right for our family right now. As soon as I acknowledged what I was feeling, a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. I knew that the message Heavenly Father wanted to get to me had finally gotten through. I told Ben about the impressions I was getting as soon as he got home from work that day. He admitted that he had been too busy to listen very well to the Spirit, as well, so he promised to try to take more time for meditation. And bam. It hit him, too. No charter school for our kids.

Ben let the principal of the charter school know today that our kids aren't going there, so that he can give those two spots to two other kiddos. And I feel totally great about our choice. Because it's what Heavenly Father wants. And we'll see why someday. I just know that, when I listen to Him, He takes care of me. Always. Unequivocally.

The kids were already signed up at their public school, so no changes. We're good to go. Now we have to hit that killer school supplies sale at Fred Meyer's this week...