Our Do-Over

You may or may not recall that mine and Ben's Valentine's Day was less than stellar. We finally had a decent date a couple of weeks ago to make up for it.

I really wanted to go to the temple - we haven't gone in a couple of months, and I'm feeling really guilty about that. Plus, I'm just kind of yearning for the peace that the temple gives me. I love going. But my Terrestrial Kingdom-minded husband talked me into going with him to Alice in Wonderland instead:

Johnny Depp is amazing.

And the movie, as a whole, was awesome. I loved it. We were thinking of going to it as a family, and I'm soooo glad we didn't. It's only rated PG, but the violence is a little much for kids. Rotting, decapitated heads. Eyeballs getting gouged out by swords. Fingers that no longer belong to a hand. I think Dylan would have had nightmares, and I think Sadie would have been disturbed beyond measure.

Then we went to Ben's favorite sushi restaurant. Which may be the only sushi restaurant in the city, actually. He is a sushi-aholic.

I'd rather eat bird terd than sushi. Seriously. Raw fish - gross. Seaweed - gross. They did have like five things on the menu that weren't sushi, and I chose the Veggies and Noodles. And then I had them add chicken. I was really hoping that it was going to taste like Mongolian barbecue, and I wasn't disappointed. Ohhhh, it was heavenly. Vegetables are my enemies lately, but these just tasted superb.

Our date was just what the doctor ordered. I need one of these per weekend, I think. But dates and baby-sitters cost money, ya know? So I guess I'll settle for the every-now-and-then date. Maybe someday we'll have the luxury of going on a date once a week.

Oh. And I got Ben some jeans as a late Valentine's Day present. He didn't like them (he is notoriously picky about pants), so he took them back and got some that he really likes. I went to Motherhood Maternity and found a couple of dresses that might have looked okay with my new, amazing shoes, but I just cannot stand the thought of buying something that I can't wear after September of this year. This is DEFINITELY my last pregnancy, and I really don't want to waste any money on maternity clothes that I won't ever use again. So my shoes will sit in their box until the fine day that I can shop in a regular store again. In many moons.

Reaching New Lows

Last Wednesday was such a HARD day for me. The kids were acting insane. My cousin, Kort, and I have a theory - spring is in the air. It's making our kids a little crazy. Hers were acting nutty that day, too. I was stuck with these tyrant children of mine all day long, and then Ben had a stupid basketball game that night, so I was stuck alone with them again.

Micah does this scream-bloody-murder thing lately (which is my FAVORITE), and he was in his high chair, screaming, not eating, and throwing his food.

I lost it.

I started throwing food back at him. I would pick up a piece of hot dog or string cheese, throw it at his face, and yell at him. I think the following words escaped my mouth: "You make my life a living HELL!!!"

His face was so funny - just total shock. My kids' faces, too. I look back now and giggle, because it's so ludicrous, but at the time, I felt like I was losing my mind. When Ben came home from enjoying exercise without children, I was lying on the couch, staring at the wall. "You are in a bad place now, aren't you?" he said. "Yep," said I.

Do I need to up my dosage of anti-depressants? Maybe. All I want to do is sleep. All day. All night. I hide from my children in my bed or the bathtub. I don't care about doing things that I usually care about doing. I have so much RAGE inside. All of these are red flags. We'll see. I might talk to the doc about it next week at my appointment. It's just been a hard couple of weeks for me.

Thanks for listening.

Sadie Lately

I have this random picture of Sades sitting on my hard drive, so I just thought I'd write a few things about what she's been up to.

1. She started taking a dance class. More on that very soon.
2. She's scared of running water. If I'm filling up a sink or the tub, she freaks out until I turn it off. She is convinced that the tub or sink will overflow. Convinced.
3. Sadie used to be embarrassed if her brothers saw her changing clothes. Now, she has decided it's really funny to flash or moon Dylan, because he freaks out.
4. Sades calls anyone who is a child, a "friend." We'll be in the store and we'll see a kid. "Look, Mom," she'll say, "That friend is picking out some cereal."
5. I just registered Sades for Kindergarten for next year. The thought of her riding that big old bus freaks me out a little. I was ready for Dylan to go, but not Sades. I wonder why.
6. She has started using three-syllable words, and I love it. She often tells me that the food I cook is either disgusting or delicious. But it sounds like "dewishus." I love that, too.
7. We watch Tom and Jerry every day while I do her hair. I LOVE Tom and Jerry soooo much. It still makes me chuckle, even though I've seen each short like a million times. So when we're watching, and I laugh, Sadie gets mad at me. I'm not allowed to laugh at Tom and Jerry. Only she is allowed to laugh at it.

The Traveling Man

Ben went on a little business trip to San Francisco a couple of weeks ago. I was tres jealous. I really, really wish I could accompany him on such trips. But, you know, I have these kids... So I get to stay here and play Single Mom for a week.

The two trips he has been on are basically conferences for schools. One in October was for all of the school superintendents in the whole state of Missouri, I think. And then this one was for all of the private schools in California. So these school people get together and talk about how they're going to build new schools on small budgets, etc. etc. And people that are involved in the building of schools set up shop in the foyer of these conference centers and say, "You should hire us as your contractors!" "You should hire us as your architects!" etc. etc.

And really, the dome structure (which Ben's company specializes in) is much cheaper to build and power than a normal, square-type of school. So that's what Ben and usually one of the engineers go and present to the school people. And Ben does a good job of dressing up a dome to look cool and interesting.

Ben does well schmoozing with people, so he usually makes some good contacts at these things, which drums up some good business for his company.

Anywho, he had a couple of hours off one day, so he went over to Fisherman's Wharf (which was near the conference center where he was working) and got his fam some stuff. He got all three kids these t-shirts (Micah was napping when I snapped this photo):

And then he got me this very cool scarf:

I actually have a shirt that matches it! Awesome.

I was SO GLAD to have him back home. It's just so nice to have him around. Even if he isn't necessarily helping with the kids (or dishes or laundry or sweeping or bathrooms or anything, really), it's nice to have him here. And though he doesn't volunteer for anything in the above list, I can always ask him to do those things, and he will do them for me. When he's not here, I don't have anyone to whom I can say, "I've had it with the kids today. Will you bathe them and put them to bed while I lie on the couch and try not to barf??" So I'm really glad he's back.

And next time, I need him to get off the couch to take a picture of me. Pictures from below=fat double chin exposure.

Refi

My dad, Mr. Very Smart, does our taxes every year (thanks, Pops). Can I tell you how much I love that? It's a huge blessing. And very kind of him. He was taking a look at our form that shows info on your mortgage, and he called me. He asked if we had considered refinancing our house. I hadn't really thought much about it; I figured we hadn't been in it long enough to have very much equity. Dad made some calls to some people he knew (I swear he knows 95% of Idaho Falls), and he said he thought we could do it, lowering our interest rate, thereby saving us some money every month.

One of the things we had to do was get an appraiser to look at our house. I thought for sure it would appraise for more than it did. It only appraised for a thousand bucks more than what we bought it for 2 1/2 years ago! And that is after we have put in a new furnace and ventilation system and finished a bedroom downstairs. Crazy. And dumb.

Luckily, we were still able to proceed with the refinancing process, and we are so excited about it. Our old interest rate was 7.5%, I believe. Now we're at 4.875%. Huge difference. It's saving us money every month on our mortgage. Now we can use that extra moolah for a car payment! Our car only fits three kids; we need to upgrade. We were wondering how on earth we were going to do that, and voila. Blessings from heaven, sent through a very smart daddy.

Supercrap

Superstar is a thing in Headstart where you go into the classroom, talk about how great your kid is, what the kid likes to do, etc., and present a poster of pictures for display in the classroom.

I'd like to take you back to a magical time. A time when I had the energy and time to make my kids' Superstar posters truly fantastic. Take a look at this little beauty. And this work of art.

And now I show you this piece of craptasticness:

I literally slapped it together in two minutes in the back of my car. The rubber cement wasn't working, so I used these stupid heart stickers to make the photos stick to the poster. Unbefreakinlievable.

This is what happens when you are barfing all day and can't keep up with your life. I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of poopy diapers, laundry, dirty dishes, and vomit. See my greasy face in that picture? I don't even think I had washed my face that day. Argh! This is not the mom I thought I was going to be! I was going to be the cute mom! The one that showered every day and did her hair and makeup! Now I wear sweats every day and am lucky if I get a shower in at all!!!

Sorry. I guess I'm just frustrated. I'm tired of feeling sick. I've had the mother of all colds this week on top of nausea, which has been pretty harsh. I couldn't stop barfing last night, but I kept down some apple juice this morning, so that's good. My house is soooooo gross. It looks like those houses on that show on TV, Hoarders. I was watching that the other night (because all I do is lie on the couch and feel gross and watch TV), and I got a little teary-eyed. I thought to myself, That is me. That is my house. My kids are going to get taken away by CPS because my house isn't sanitary!!!

My mom came over yesterday and dusted my living room, which really made me feel a lot better. Now I have to tackle my kitchen. As soon as I change Micah's poopy diaper. :(

Art Imitating Life

Dylan made me this card at school:

"Your the best mom." Could he be any cuter?? I love that he loves me.

I asked him to tell me who is in the picture. From left to right: My dad, my mom (holding Micah), Uncle Pete, Sadie, Aunt Nat, me, and Dylan. (Apparently Nat's kids didn't join us on this swimming adventure.)

And who is that, underneath the water?

"That's Daddy, swimming under the water and grabbing Sadie's leg, trying to scare her."

Ohhhhhhh that is so Ben. Funny that Dylan chooses to capture Ben in that way. It shows you how much time Ben spends teasing his children and wife...