Chinese Knives - 3. Kar - 0.‏

Friends and fam -

How are you? I hope all of you are well.

The other day, we were at May Dong Low (McDonald's. But "May Dong Low" is so much more fun to say). Ben was ordering some food, and I was at our table with the kids. This one kid came up to us, and I was like, "Oh, cute. He is curious to see my blonde children." Which he was. But then he kept holding out two yuan to me - they're like dollar bills. I was trying to figure out what he was doing - is this kid trying to give me money? I thought. After he held out the yuan a couple of times, I finally was like, um, I'll take it if you want...but then he withdrew his hand. I was like, whatevs. He walked out the front door, and that's when I realized that he didn't have any parents with him. There were a bunch of bikes parked out front, and he started digging through the baskets of each bike. He found a coke, looked around, took it then ambled off. I realized that the kid was poor and had been trying to ask me for a couple of yuan, not give me a couple of yuan. I'm so daft sometimes.

That lady I met in our hotel a few weeks ago actually called Summer and arranged a playdate with us. So here's the deal - when she and I first met, she said that her daughter was 12. And I thought it was kind of weird that a 12-year-old would want to play with a five-year-old, but I was like, whatevs. But then I swear we ran into the lady on the street. If it wasn't her, it was her spitting image. And she was with a little girl that looked just Sadie's age. So I thought maybe she had said the wrong age, because her English was pretty halting (not as bad as my Mandarin, obviously). So then, when the lady called to arrange the playdate, Sadie got excited, thinking, "I get to play with that little girl my age!" So they came over...last week? Maybe the week before. Aaaaand...the daughter is 12. She goes by the name of Allan. I can't remember the lady's name. Mrs. Poay, or something like that. It was soooo awkward. We did our best to try to communicate, but it was really difficult. And Sadie was really upset that the girl wasn't her age. She was making it no secret that she was mad. I found out why Mrs. P_____ was at the hotel - she is studying for a big exam for her job, and she wanted solitude, peace, and quiet. Um, because a house with only one 12-year-old daughter - and a well-behaved one, at that - isn't quiet enough??? Hahahaha! I don't know; I think that's funny. So they were here for an hour, and it was agonizing for both parties, and that was the end of that.

Well, we got fan things for the bathrooms - it's so funny - the workers put them into the holes in the wall, but then they have these cords, and you have to actually plug them into an outlet. No outlets are close to the holes, so we had to get extension cords. And then we had to kind of drape the cords over the shower head and over the water heater thingey, down to the plug-in area. It makes me a little nervous - I'm worried we're going to get electrocuted mid-shower or something, but Ben assures me the cords are high enough. The one fan in the master bathroom seems to be really helping, but the kids' bathroom seems just beyond help. We have the fans running constantly in both bathrooms. Ben thinks he may be able to install his own P-trap behind one of the sinks, which I think will help. Every little bit helps, I'm sure.

So, a couple of nights ago, Ben cooked our first-ever dinner here! Our kitchen is finally in - I really need to take pictures of it. I was thrilled, and then I went to the store, and I got disappointed again. I wanted to make this Italian meal called Carbonera - kind of like spaghetti and meatballs, but in a cream sauce instead of a tomatoey sauce. It calls for Italian sausage. Couldn't find it. I found many, many types of sausage, but who knows what's in them? And nothing is in English. I did find spaghetti and olive oil, so I got those.

And then I was like, I need some french bread. No such thing in a Chinese supermarket. So I was like, "I saw a bakery down the street that says, 'Blah blah blah Western Bakery." So I walked down there, and nope, it's not really a western bakery. A whole bunch of crazy-arse crap. False advertising!!! So then I was like, "I can make my own bread. No prob." So I went back to the supermarket and looked for the baking aisle. There is none. I did find some flour, but I don't know if you use the same kind of flour to make those rubbery dumplings that you do to make bread. I just got some and hoped for the best. And then I looked for yeast. Nope. No one spoke English - my little friend that works in the noodle aisle must not have been working that day; I couldn't find her. I couldn't see anything that resembled yeast - I thought for a moment I had found it, but it turned out to be Sesame Paste, whatever the H that is.

Then I looked for some sugar. I did have the word for "sugar" in my Chinese/American dictionary, so I pointed it out to a lady, and she showed me to this table full of things that look like crystals. They actually pound the crystals, and that makes the small grains of sugar! Dude. They're in the freakin' stone ages! Luckily, the lady had pounded out some, so I bought it, and it was cheap, but it's a totally different texture and moisture than sugar at home. I wanted to maybe make a green salad, but there's no ranch here, of course. I looked for cheese to grate for it - no cheese. They had something called "morning cheese" that looked spreadable - I wondered if that was cream cheese, but I have no idea.

I actually found a can of Hunt's spaghetti sauce. Cue Handel's Hallelujah Chorus. And they sell corn on the cob down on Stinky Street. So I was like, we can do spaghetti and corn on the cob. And our oven has a toasting setting, so we made garlic toast - they don't have garlic powder, but they do sell lots and lots of garlic heads on stinky street. So we cooked garlic in butter, then took the garlic chunks out of the butter. It's not a good idea for Ben to have too much garlic - trust me on that one! So we put this butter concoction on the bread.

All this work for just one meal. My heck. I think I'd better just stick to Asian recipes from here on out.

Here's my question - when you boil corn on the cob, do you boil it for half an hour? I thought it was for ten minutes, but they sure didn't taste done. And then I realized that, usually, we grill our corn on the cob. So I have no idea how long to boil corn on the cob for. The spaghetti sauce was horrible. Hahaha! I did see some tomato paste, tomatoes, and tomato sauce at the store, so I'll just have to make my own sauce next time, eh? And the toast was alright. So, not a huge fail, but not fantastic, either. We'll get used to it.

We chucked the corn, because it was so awful, so yesterday, I went down to Stinky Street and bought some green beans. I was trying to figure out how much I owed the lady, and between she and I, we just couldn't get it right. We finally figured it out - 8 yuan for four pounds of potatoes and 4 pounds of green beans - that's like $1.30. Not bad. So I told her, "Toy po shee. Wa shwah da bo how." Which means, "I'm sorry; I don't speak well." And she and her two little veggie-selling compatriates just laughed and laughed. "Wa shwah da bo how! Hahaha! Wa shwah da bo how!!!" They thought it was hilarious that I could say that. People here are so cute.

I remembered the recipe for white sauce, so I made a white sauce (I totally guesstimated the measurements, because I can't find any cup measures, teaspoons, tablespoons, etc., and I actually succeeded!!!), steamed the beans, and put them in the sauce. And it tasted great. My kids were so excited!!! As was I. I baked some potatoes in our little oven last night to make hash browns to go with our eggs this morning. And now that we have a gas range, I can control the flame and not burn the crap out of stuff.

I'm very impressed with the cutlery here. Impressed/annoyed. I have chopped the crap out of my hands. Maybe all my knives in the U.S. are dull?? Maybe knives here are especially sharp? Like those infomercials you see on TV - "These Chinese knives can cut through this CAN!!" I got a little cheese/veggie grater and basically grated the crud out of my thumb, and then I've cut myself twice in the same finger with the same dang chopping knife. I actually dripped blood on my beautiful bedspread while trying to find some band-aids in my armoire. Sad.

Yesterday, for virtual church, we had sacrament meeting, and then they did Elder's Quorum. So I'm beginning to think that they kind of rotate. Because last week, it was sacrament meeting, and then Sunday School. So maybe next week, it will be Sacrament meeting, and then Relief Society. Who knows? They called a new Primary Presidency - they said they'll be e-mailing me soon. It's kind of funny to me - will they let me know about the primary program, which we can't have? What about a primary activity, which no one can attend, unless they drive for 20 hours? Hahaha! A woman from Shenyang spoke in sacrament meeting - Shenyang is up by North Korea. The girl's name is Shanshan, and she's actually a Chinese citizen - here's the deal - normally, Chinese citizens can't go to church with foreigners. But, because she's married to an American citizen, she's allowed to attend our branch, but he's not allowed to attend her local branch. She told a little bit of her family's history with the church - her mom went on a trip to the U.S. and happened to stop in Salt Lake. She visited temple square, and there were some missionaries there from China who spoke Mandarin and got her interested in the church. She was in the U.S. for a few weeks or something, so she took all the lessons and totally got baptized there, then came home to China. There was a branch in her hometown, with members, so she started going to church there, and they and she got her husband and the rest of her family interested in the church, and they all got baptized. This was like ten years ago. I've often wondered how the church is able to grow, with such strict limitations, but I think this is how it works - people go to the U.S., or to Hong Kong, or to Taiwan, or wherever, to work or go to college or whatever, and that's when they get the exposure. And then they come back and are allowed to establish branches here. The bishop told us today that Chinese members in leadership positions are allowed to go to Hong Kong or Taiwan for training meetings, so that everything is being done properly, and that there are area authorities from Hong Kong or Taiwan that are allowed to come in to China and attend meetings and strengthen members in that way.

Anyways, I thought that was interesting. Shanshan and her husband met at BYU-Hawaii when they were both going to school there. They married and lived in Utah for awhile, but there was something about her visa that needed changing or something, so they are stuck here for two years until that comes through. Then they'll be able to settle permanently in the U.S. I loved hearing her talk and testimony. Her husband was supposed to talk, but he was "sick." I was like, um, you can't sit on your couch in your jammies and give a five minute talk into your computer microphone? You're too sick for that?? Hahaha! Men, when they're sick, are ridiculous.

Ben is in Beijing today for a meeting, and I've given him strict instructions to find a western market that I know exists up there. He is to buy as much as he and his interpreter can possibly carry, and bring it back home. :) Shortening. Baking pans. Brown sugar. The works.

And then I think that, tomorrow, Ben and Summer will go and book that trip to the beach! Woot-woot! I'm ready to par-tay. We've also been contemplating another trip at the beginning of October - we have to leave China and re-enter every ninety days, so that will be our first trip out of the country. I guess Hong Kong officially qualifies as "leaving the country." So we could go there, or Taiwan, or Thailand, or Japan, or Korea...the sky's the limit! It's exciting to me. My sister, Lex, is coming during Christmas time - we're planning to do a week in Beijing, and then maybe a week outside of the country, because it will be about that time again, for us to leave and re-enter. I love planning trips.

Gage is having a little meltdown, so I'd better go. Love you tons! Write me, you punks! Hahaha!

- Kar