Monday, November 12, 2012
Deck the Halls with Turkeys
I finally put up the Thanksgiving decorations today.
They look a little weird intermingled with Chinese stuff, but oh well...
I've been doing pretty well keeping up with decorating this fall. My Mother's Day decorations were up clear until the first part of October. I kid you not. It was a hard summer...
Micah calls turkeys, "bocks." I'm not sure why. But I think it's pretty cute.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
My Talk on Nurturing Marriage
Hey, 'sup? I gave a talk on marriage today in church and thought I'd throw it on here for ya. It went well.
I learned from my wife the importance of expressions of love.
Early in our marriage, often I would open my scriptures to give a
message in a meeting, and I would find an affectionate, supportive
note Jeanene had slipped into the pages. Sometimes they were so
tender that I could hardly talk. Those precious notes from a loving
wife were and continue to be a priceless treasure of comfort and
inspiration.
I began to do the same thing with her, not realizing how much it truly meant to her. I remember one year we didn’t have the resources for me to give her a valentine, so I decided to paint a watercolor on the front of the refrigerator. I did the best I could; only I made one mistake. It was enamel paint, not watercolor. She never let me try to remove that permanent paint from the refrigerator.
I remember one day I took some of those little round paper circles that form when you punch holes in paper, and I wrote on them the numbers 1 to 100. I turned each over and wrote her a message, one word on each circle. Then I scooped them up and put them in an envelope. I thought she would get a good laugh.
When she passed away, I found in her private things how much she appreciated the simple messages that we shared with each other. I noted that she had carefully pasted every one of those circles on a piece of paper. She not only kept my notes to her, but she protected them with plastic coverings as if they were a valuable treasure. There is only one that she didn’t put with the others. It is still behind the glass in our kitchen clock. It reads, “Jeanene, it is time to tell you I love you.” It remains there and reminds me of that exceptional daughter of Father in Heaven. (Elder Richard G. Scott, “The Eternal Blessings of Marriage, Ensign, May 2011)
I read a story about saying “I love you” by a lady named Laura Jeanne Allen that really touched me:
My grandparents were married for over half a century, and played their own special game from the time they had met each other. The goal of their game was to write the word “shmily” in a surprise place for the other to find. They took turns leaving “shmily” around the house, and as soon as one of them discovered it, it was their turn to hide it once more.
They dragged “shmily” with their fingers through the sugar and flour containers to await whoever was preparing the next meal. They smeared it in the dew on the windows overlooking the patio. “Shmily” was written in the steam left on the mirror after a hot shower, where it would reappear bath after bath. At one point, my grandmother even unrolled an entire roll of toilet paper to leave shmily on the very last sheet.
There was no end to the places “shmily” would pop up. Little notes with “shmily” scribbled hurriedly were found on dashboards and car seats, or taped to steering wheels. The notes were stuffed inside shoes and left under pillows. “Shmily” was written in the dust upon the mantel and traced in the ashes of the fireplace. This mysterious word was as much a part of my grandparents' house as the furniture.
[When my grandmother died,] “shmily” was scrawled in yellow on the pink ribbons of my grandmother's funeral bouquet.
S-h-m-i-l-y: See How Much I Love You. Thank you, Grandma and Grandpa, for letting me see. (Chicken Soup for the Couples' Soul, 1999, pp. 16-18)
It's important for you to show your spouse that you value their opinion, and to make decisions together. Gary Chapman said that, when you make major decisions without your spouse, you become the parent and the spouse becomes the child. It's demeaning. In marriage, we are equal, adult partners. (The Five Love Languages, p. 48)
I read a fabulous article in the Ensign in June of this year that invites us to apply the principles of church councils to our marriages.
D&C 107:27 says that, in church councils, we make decisions unanimously. We should strive to do the same in our marriages.
In church councils, each person participates fully. We should do the same when making decisions in our marriages. D&C 88:122 says, “Let not all be spokesmen at once; but let one speak at a time and let all listen unto his sayings, that when all have spoken that all may be edified of all, and that every man may have an equal privilege.”
The third principle of church councils that can be applied to marriage is presiding righteously. Elder Ballard says that the authority of the priesthood shouldn't be wielded like a club over the heads of others. We should apply this to our marriages. When one presides in the home, he doesn't rule over the others, but he ensures that the marriage and the family prosper. D&C 121:41 says, “No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned.” (Counseling Together in Marriage, Ensign, June 2012)
There are times when you and your spouse may argue. Marriage is very difficult. It's a melding of two different backgrounds, minds, temperments, etc. It's not always smooth sailing. You may be very hurt and feel that your spouse is entirely in the wrong. However, if you can take responsibility for your part of the argument, that will really go a long way toward creating peace.
Even if you feel that you had no part in an argument at all, a family counselor named John Gray recommends this: “At those times, I take a deep breath and say nothing. Inside, I try to imagine how she feels and discover the reasons from her point of view. Then I say, 'I'm sorry you feel so upset.' Although this is not an apology, it does say, 'I care,' and that seems to help a lot.” (Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, 1992, p. 162)
Ben is so good at this part of our little “finger formula.” It's so difficult to admit that you made a mistake, or to say you're sorry, but he cares more for our relationship than he cares about being right. It is one of the things I love best about him.
I bear my testimony that marriage is designed to help us be better people. It can bring us utmost joy if we can learn to nurture it and show true charity to our spouses. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Nurturing Your Marriage
When
Ben and I were married in the temple almost twelve years ago, our
officiator, a man named President Wirkus, gave us some words of
wisdom. He used his hand and fingers to help us remember his advice.
1. We
He held
up his thumb and said, “We.” He wanted us to remember to be
unified.
In D&C
38:27, Christ says, “Be one; and if ye are not one ye are not
mine.” He was speaking of members of his church, but I believe
this applies to marriages, as well.
Genesis
2:24 says, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother,
and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh.”
When
you marry, you no longer only make decisions alone. You have to
consider your spouse. In this way, marriage really helps us to be
less selfish. It makes us better people. President Spencer W.
Kimball said:
Before
marriage, each individual is quite free to go and come as he pleases,
to organize and plan his life as it seems best, to make all decisions
with self as the central point. Sweethearts should realize before
they take the vows that each must accept literally and fully that the
good of the little new family must always be superior to the good of
either spouse. Every decision must take into consideration that
there are two or more affected by it. As she approaches major
decisions now, the wife will be concerned about the effect they will
have upon the parents, the children, the home, and their spiritual
lives. The husband's choice of occupation, his social life his
friends, his every interest must now be considered in the light that
he is only a part of a family, that the totalness of the group must
be considered. (Ensign, June 1978, “Oneness in Marriage”)
You can
really reach your full potential better with the help of a spouse. A
famous Italian writer named Luciano de Crescenzo, said, “We are
each of us angels with only one wing. And we can fly only by
embracing each other.” I love the figurative language there. I
know that, when I'm lagging a bit spiritually, Ben kind of helps to
pull me up, and vice versa.
In
child-rearing, it's best when you can work as a husband-and-wife
team. Ben was in China for the past ten months for work, and I
really struggled without his help. I can't believe how much easier
it is to care for and rear our children with him here! We can split
up the work. And when I'm exhausted or have had enough, Ben can step
in while I take a breather. And vice versa.
An
important part of this husband-and-wife team concept is presenting a
united front, not undermining each other's decisions, and making
major decisions together. Anything related to the kids really should
be talked through with your spouse. My mom was such a good example
of this to me while I was growing up. So many times, I remember
begging her, “Don't tell Dad!” It wasn't for big things; usually
it was because I hadn't finished an assignment in time and had stayed
up all night working on it. But she never, ever would promise not to
tell Dad. “I can't keep secrets from your dad,” she would tell
me.
- Thank You
President
Wirkus held up his thumb and first finger and said, “Thank you.”
Gary
Chapman, a therapist and writer, said:
[Words
of thanks] are powerful communicators of love. They are best
expressed in simple, straightforward statements...such as:
“You
must be the best potato cook in the world. I love these potatoes.”
“I
really appreciate you washing the dishes tonight.”
“Thanks
for getting the baby-sitter lined up tonight. I want you to know I
don't take that for granted.”
“I
really appreciate you taking the garbage out.”
“You
did a great job on this meal.”
“I
really appreciate you picking up the laundry.” (The Five Love
Languages, 2004, p. 39,55)
Elder
Russell M. Nelson said:
To say
“thank you” is not difficult. But this expression of
appreciation does more than acknowledge a kind thought or deed. It
is a sign of sweet civility. As grateful partners look for the good
in each other and sincerely pay compliments to one another, wives and
husbands will strive to become the persons described in those
compliments. (Ensign, May 2006, “Nurturing Marriage”)
Gary
Chapman told a story about one of his patients who had been asking
her husband to paint their bedroom for nine months, but to no avail.
She was so frustrated with him! Doctor Chapman suggested something
to her. He told her to thank her husband for all of the other little
things he did, taking the garbage out, paying the electric bill, etc.
The woman was a little bothered by this, but she came back three
weeks later and reported that it worked! Her husband finally painted
the bedroom! (The Five Love Languages, 2004, p.40-42)
- I Love You
It is
so, so important to tell your spouse that you love them. President
Howard W. Hunter said, “Marriage is like a tender flower...and must
be nourished constantly with expressions of love and affection.”
(Ensign, Nov. 1994. “Being a Righteous Husband and Father”)
I loved
Elder Richard G. Scott's talk in April 2011 General Conference. He
talked a lot about this:
Do you tell your wife often
how very much you love her? It will bring her great happiness. I’ve
heard men tell me when I say that, “Oh, she knows.” You need to
tell her. A woman grows and is greatly blessed by that reassurance.
Express gratitude for
what your spouse does for you. Express that love and gratitude often.
That will make life far richer and more pleasant and purposeful.
Don’t withhold those natural expressions of love. And it works a
lot better if you are holding her close while you tell her.
I began to do the same thing with her, not realizing how much it truly meant to her. I remember one year we didn’t have the resources for me to give her a valentine, so I decided to paint a watercolor on the front of the refrigerator. I did the best I could; only I made one mistake. It was enamel paint, not watercolor. She never let me try to remove that permanent paint from the refrigerator.
I remember one day I took some of those little round paper circles that form when you punch holes in paper, and I wrote on them the numbers 1 to 100. I turned each over and wrote her a message, one word on each circle. Then I scooped them up and put them in an envelope. I thought she would get a good laugh.
When she passed away, I found in her private things how much she appreciated the simple messages that we shared with each other. I noted that she had carefully pasted every one of those circles on a piece of paper. She not only kept my notes to her, but she protected them with plastic coverings as if they were a valuable treasure. There is only one that she didn’t put with the others. It is still behind the glass in our kitchen clock. It reads, “Jeanene, it is time to tell you I love you.” It remains there and reminds me of that exceptional daughter of Father in Heaven. (Elder Richard G. Scott, “The Eternal Blessings of Marriage, Ensign, May 2011)
I read a story about saying “I love you” by a lady named Laura Jeanne Allen that really touched me:
My grandparents were married for over half a century, and played their own special game from the time they had met each other. The goal of their game was to write the word “shmily” in a surprise place for the other to find. They took turns leaving “shmily” around the house, and as soon as one of them discovered it, it was their turn to hide it once more.
They dragged “shmily” with their fingers through the sugar and flour containers to await whoever was preparing the next meal. They smeared it in the dew on the windows overlooking the patio. “Shmily” was written in the steam left on the mirror after a hot shower, where it would reappear bath after bath. At one point, my grandmother even unrolled an entire roll of toilet paper to leave shmily on the very last sheet.
There was no end to the places “shmily” would pop up. Little notes with “shmily” scribbled hurriedly were found on dashboards and car seats, or taped to steering wheels. The notes were stuffed inside shoes and left under pillows. “Shmily” was written in the dust upon the mantel and traced in the ashes of the fireplace. This mysterious word was as much a part of my grandparents' house as the furniture.
[When my grandmother died,] “shmily” was scrawled in yellow on the pink ribbons of my grandmother's funeral bouquet.
S-h-m-i-l-y: See How Much I Love You. Thank you, Grandma and Grandpa, for letting me see. (Chicken Soup for the Couples' Soul, 1999, pp. 16-18)
- What Do You Think?
It's important for you to show your spouse that you value their opinion, and to make decisions together. Gary Chapman said that, when you make major decisions without your spouse, you become the parent and the spouse becomes the child. It's demeaning. In marriage, we are equal, adult partners. (The Five Love Languages, p. 48)
I read a fabulous article in the Ensign in June of this year that invites us to apply the principles of church councils to our marriages.
D&C 107:27 says that, in church councils, we make decisions unanimously. We should strive to do the same in our marriages.
In church councils, each person participates fully. We should do the same when making decisions in our marriages. D&C 88:122 says, “Let not all be spokesmen at once; but let one speak at a time and let all listen unto his sayings, that when all have spoken that all may be edified of all, and that every man may have an equal privilege.”
The third principle of church councils that can be applied to marriage is presiding righteously. Elder Ballard says that the authority of the priesthood shouldn't be wielded like a club over the heads of others. We should apply this to our marriages. When one presides in the home, he doesn't rule over the others, but he ensures that the marriage and the family prosper. D&C 121:41 says, “No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned.” (Counseling Together in Marriage, Ensign, June 2012)
- I admit I was wrong.
There are times when you and your spouse may argue. Marriage is very difficult. It's a melding of two different backgrounds, minds, temperments, etc. It's not always smooth sailing. You may be very hurt and feel that your spouse is entirely in the wrong. However, if you can take responsibility for your part of the argument, that will really go a long way toward creating peace.
Even if you feel that you had no part in an argument at all, a family counselor named John Gray recommends this: “At those times, I take a deep breath and say nothing. Inside, I try to imagine how she feels and discover the reasons from her point of view. Then I say, 'I'm sorry you feel so upset.' Although this is not an apology, it does say, 'I care,' and that seems to help a lot.” (Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, 1992, p. 162)
Ben is so good at this part of our little “finger formula.” It's so difficult to admit that you made a mistake, or to say you're sorry, but he cares more for our relationship than he cares about being right. It is one of the things I love best about him.
I bear my testimony that marriage is designed to help us be better people. It can bring us utmost joy if we can learn to nurture it and show true charity to our spouses. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
It's time.
So. If you remember, I have a prolapsed bladder and uterus, for which I'm going in for surgery a week from today.
Something that has kept the pain at bay for several months has been birth control pills. I wanted to wait until Ben came home permanently before considering trying to have and to recover from major surgery, so I relied heavily on my birth control pills and an occasional ibuprofen to take the edge off the pain.
A couple of weeks ago, I realized that I was out of birth control pills. Here was my internal conversation:
Me: Dang. I'm out of pills. Time to call, get a refill, and go pay sixty frickin' bucks for them.
Me: Wait. In two weeks, I won't need birth control pills. Do I want to pay sixty bucks for two weeks of relief??
Me: You're right, Kar. Sixty bucks. That buys a whole lotta luscious bean burritos.
Me: True dat, Kar. And you don't need birth control for its other purpose. Ben got a vasectomy a couple of years ago.
Me: Mmmm-hmmm. Let's just not do it. You can take extra ibuprofen for the pain. Easy peasy.
Me: Cool. Readyyyyyyy, BREAK!
A few days after I stopped taking my pills, I was cursing myself. Seriously. I didn't have any idea how much these pills had helped with the pain. With them, the pain was a constant dull ache. Without them, the pain is definitely in that upper 8 or 9. You know, when nurses always ask, "On a scale of one to ten, what is your pain level??" I'd seriously call this an 8 or a 9. It feels like labor pains. Like the pains you feel for the first hour or two of labor. You can kiiiiind of function, and it's not as bad as the next hour or two, but still, it hurts a llllllot.
I've been taking ibuprofen, which helps a little bit. At least it helps me to be a little more functional.
You know, this accentuated pain has been a good thing in a way - it has really cemented in my mind the need for me to have this surgery. Before, when the pain was kind of dulled, I thought, "Do I really need this surgery? Maybe I can deal with this..." But now I realize that this really is a problem. A big one. One that won't go away. One that will get worse and worse.
I've been able to exercise moderately. I can't jog - that hurts too much - but as long as I've taken aleve or ibuprofen, I've been able to do fluid things, like spinning and the elliptical machine. I went to the gym with my mom and my youngest sis, Lex, today, and in true she-used-to-be-a-personal-trainer mode, Lex pushed me pretty hard. And I willingly obliged. I'm nothing if not a people pleaser. And I really do love to exercise and to push myself. So I worked hard. And I was doing okay. But as I walked out of the gym and got in the car with my mom, I started to really cramp up in my abdomen. Hmmm, I thought. That's weird.
We went to the library - I desperately needed to get some books for Sadie to read as part of her homework, ones that are her reading level. Mom stayed in the car with my kids while I went inside. And the pain in my abdomen went from bad to worse. Quickly. By the time I walked back out to the car, I could hardly walk. Tears were streaming down my face, and I was having a hard time breathing. I couldn't relax into the seat. I was clenched and shaking. Mom was alarmed and wondered aloud if we should go to my doctor immediately. I decided to go home and lie down and see if things improved.
I took a ton of Tylenol (I can't take ibuprofen or other types of pills that may thin my blood for the next week), got out my heating pad, and lay on the couch while my mom took care of my kids. (I know. Isn't she the BEST??) I was able to relax a little bit as the Tylenol kicked in, but I was in too much pain to sleep. I called the nurse at my doc's office and asked her opinion. She recommended seeing how I felt in the morning. If I was still in too much pain, I should come in and get checked.
The pain slowly got better and better, but it wasn't until about 9 hours of rest (just within the last couple of hours or so) that I was able to walk upright and without pain. I texted Lex to tell her what was going on, and she suggested that maybe my uterus figured out that I was getting rid of it and was acting out in rebellion. I laughed.
And then I stopped laughing, because that really hurts.
So yeah. As scared as I am to have major surgery, and as scared as I am knowing that it will take me six weeks to recover, I can't continue living like this. It will be a good thing. It's time.
Something that has kept the pain at bay for several months has been birth control pills. I wanted to wait until Ben came home permanently before considering trying to have and to recover from major surgery, so I relied heavily on my birth control pills and an occasional ibuprofen to take the edge off the pain.
A couple of weeks ago, I realized that I was out of birth control pills. Here was my internal conversation:
Me: Dang. I'm out of pills. Time to call, get a refill, and go pay sixty frickin' bucks for them.
Me: Wait. In two weeks, I won't need birth control pills. Do I want to pay sixty bucks for two weeks of relief??
Me: You're right, Kar. Sixty bucks. That buys a whole lotta luscious bean burritos.
Me: True dat, Kar. And you don't need birth control for its other purpose. Ben got a vasectomy a couple of years ago.
Me: Mmmm-hmmm. Let's just not do it. You can take extra ibuprofen for the pain. Easy peasy.
Me: Cool. Readyyyyyyy, BREAK!
A few days after I stopped taking my pills, I was cursing myself. Seriously. I didn't have any idea how much these pills had helped with the pain. With them, the pain was a constant dull ache. Without them, the pain is definitely in that upper 8 or 9. You know, when nurses always ask, "On a scale of one to ten, what is your pain level??" I'd seriously call this an 8 or a 9. It feels like labor pains. Like the pains you feel for the first hour or two of labor. You can kiiiiind of function, and it's not as bad as the next hour or two, but still, it hurts a llllllot.
I've been taking ibuprofen, which helps a little bit. At least it helps me to be a little more functional.
You know, this accentuated pain has been a good thing in a way - it has really cemented in my mind the need for me to have this surgery. Before, when the pain was kind of dulled, I thought, "Do I really need this surgery? Maybe I can deal with this..." But now I realize that this really is a problem. A big one. One that won't go away. One that will get worse and worse.
I've been able to exercise moderately. I can't jog - that hurts too much - but as long as I've taken aleve or ibuprofen, I've been able to do fluid things, like spinning and the elliptical machine. I went to the gym with my mom and my youngest sis, Lex, today, and in true she-used-to-be-a-personal-trainer mode, Lex pushed me pretty hard. And I willingly obliged. I'm nothing if not a people pleaser. And I really do love to exercise and to push myself. So I worked hard. And I was doing okay. But as I walked out of the gym and got in the car with my mom, I started to really cramp up in my abdomen. Hmmm, I thought. That's weird.
We went to the library - I desperately needed to get some books for Sadie to read as part of her homework, ones that are her reading level. Mom stayed in the car with my kids while I went inside. And the pain in my abdomen went from bad to worse. Quickly. By the time I walked back out to the car, I could hardly walk. Tears were streaming down my face, and I was having a hard time breathing. I couldn't relax into the seat. I was clenched and shaking. Mom was alarmed and wondered aloud if we should go to my doctor immediately. I decided to go home and lie down and see if things improved.
I took a ton of Tylenol (I can't take ibuprofen or other types of pills that may thin my blood for the next week), got out my heating pad, and lay on the couch while my mom took care of my kids. (I know. Isn't she the BEST??) I was able to relax a little bit as the Tylenol kicked in, but I was in too much pain to sleep. I called the nurse at my doc's office and asked her opinion. She recommended seeing how I felt in the morning. If I was still in too much pain, I should come in and get checked.
The pain slowly got better and better, but it wasn't until about 9 hours of rest (just within the last couple of hours or so) that I was able to walk upright and without pain. I texted Lex to tell her what was going on, and she suggested that maybe my uterus figured out that I was getting rid of it and was acting out in rebellion. I laughed.
And then I stopped laughing, because that really hurts.
So yeah. As scared as I am to have major surgery, and as scared as I am knowing that it will take me six weeks to recover, I can't continue living like this. It will be a good thing. It's time.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
The Man in Black
Ben put on a black shirt this morning. I made some lame joke about how he was The Man in Black. He said, "Well, I'm in mourning."
"Mourning? Over what?"
"Because Mitt Romney didn't win."
Haha! I thought it was funny. He sent me this picture a little while ago:
"Mourning? Over what?"
"Because Mitt Romney didn't win."
Haha! I thought it was funny. He sent me this picture a little while ago:
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Eh?
My poor, poor Sadie girl. She's been sick. She had flu-like symptoms on Halloween and had to stay home. She wanted so desperately to go trick-or-treating. She got all dressed up, had me take her picture, and went, "Ohhhh, I don't think I feel good enough to go..." I love her face in this:
She did feel better the next day, but then the day after that, started complaining of pain in her ear. We took her to the doc this weekend, and it turns out she has an ear infection. In fact, her ear is so goopy that she can't hear very well. We do have her on antibiotics, and I hope they start to take effect soon, because I'm worried about her hearing.
I was helping her with homework yesterday, and she kept saying, "What?" I had to make sure I spoke a little louder and always had my face toward her so she could read my lips. I e-mailed her teacher and let her know that, yes, Sadie can't hear, and that, hopefully, it's only temporary.
I was helping her with homework yesterday, and she kept saying, "What?" I had to make sure I spoke a little louder and always had my face toward her so she could read my lips. I e-mailed her teacher and let her know that, yes, Sadie can't hear, and that, hopefully, it's only temporary.
Monday, November 5, 2012
The Lesson on Becoming Spiritually Self-Reliant - What I Did
Spiritual Self-Reliance
1. This idea is straight from the lesson. Give each of the students a paper and a pen. Read Quote #1: Spiritual self-reliance is essential to our eternal well-being. When we are spiritually self-reliant, our testimonies do not depend on the testimonies of others. We seek our own spiritual experiences through praying daily, studying the scriptures, and exercising faith in Jesus Christ. We turn to our Heavenly Father for His help to resolve our own difficult problems. We are also able to strengthen others in their times of spiritual need. (From the online youth manual)
2. After someone reads the quote, have the students write on their paper what they think spiritual self-reliance is. Have a few share what they wrote.
What is a Testimony?
To kind of introduce testimonies, I did a sensory activity that I did once for Family Home Evening a few years ago. It was a hit. And I knew my teenagers would like it. I had two of them sit at the front of the room, facing the other students, and blindfolded both of them. Here's what you do at this point:
Stand behind the first student and ring a bell. Ask him what he heard. Then ask him to touch a piece of soap. Ask what it is. Have him smell a baggie with a piece of cooked bacon in it. Ask him what it is. Give him a piece of cheese to eat. Ask him what it is.
Stand behind the second child. Open a piece of candy behind her. Ask her what that sound was. Ask her to touch a stuffed toy. Ask her what that was. Ask her to smell a baggie with a sectioned orange in it. Ask her to identify it. Have her taste a granola bar. Ask that it was.
Ask the first student, "How did you know I was holding cooked bacon to your nose? Did you need to see it to know what it was?" Ask the second student, "How did you know you were tasting a granola bar? Did you need to see it to know what it was?"
We don't need to see that something is an orange if we smell it. We don't need to see that something is cheese if we taste it.
Can you see Heavenly Father? (No.) But do you know that he is real? (Yes.) How do you know he's real? (By the feelings that we have.) Can you see Jesus Christ? (No.) But do you know that he's real? (Yes.) How do you know he is real? (By the feelings we have.)
The feeling in your heart that Heavenly Father lives and that Jesus is the Christ is called a testimony.
You Can't Rely on Others' Testimonies
1. Interview Activity
I gave each student a little half-page worksheet. Again, this is straight from the online manual. I put the students in groups of two. On the worksheet was a scripture to read. I had three different scriptures, so some kids had the same scripture as others. I made sure that each group had two students with two different scriptures. Here are the three scriptures:
Moroni 9:27
Moroni 10:3-5
D&C 56: 26-28
Here was what the worksheet said (I'm so sorry; I don't have any copies left of this to scan, so I'm just describing this for you): "Directions: Read this scripture - ________________. Then, ask your partner the following questions about their scripture. Write their answers below each question. Then allow your partner to ask questions about your scripture."
Here are the questions they asked each other:
What did the scripture you read say?
What did you learn about spiritual self-reliance from these verses?
What are you inspired to do because of what you read?
Then I had a few of them share their own or their partners' answers.
2. Parable of the Ten Virgins Activity
I wanted to review the Parable of the Ten Virgins. I split them up into four groups, and I gave each group a few verses of the parable to read to themselves, and then illustrate. Then, I had each group show the others their part of the parable and relate it to them. Here's how I divided it up:
Group 1: Matthew 25:1-5
Group 2: Matthew 25:6-7
Group 3: Matthew 25:8-9
Group 4: Matthew 25:10-12
The kids got a big kick out of this activity. They're funny.
My mom has a lamp similar to the kinds that were used in Israel that I showed to the kids:
Then we read this excerpt from Elder Bednar's talk from this most recent General Conference (I had three students read, each one paragraph):
I now want to use one of many possible interpretations of the parable of the ten virgins to highlight the relationship between testimony and conversion...Please think of the lamps used by the virgins as the lamps of testimony. The foolish virgins took their lamps of testimony but took no oil with them. Consider the oil to be the oil of conversion...
As
the wise virgins emphasized properly, each of us must “buy for
ourselves.” These inspired women were not describing a business
transaction; rather, they were emphasizing our individual responsibility
to keep our lamp of testimony burning and to obtain an ample supply of
the oil of conversion. This precious oil is acquired one drop at a
time—“line upon line [and] precept upon precept” (2 Nephi 28:30), patiently and persistently. No shortcut is available...
How Can You Gain a Testimony?
1. It's hard work.
I had a student read this story I got out of an old Family Home Evening Manual:
Christopher's Puppy
Nine-year-old Christopher went shopping with his mother. At the pet store, he saw a puppy that he wanted. He asked his mother to buy it for him. She told him if he really wanted it, he would have to earn his own money to buy it. His mother told Christopher that a puppy required lots of care and attention and Christopher would have to be responsible for doing this.
Christopher wanted the puppy very much, so for the next several weeks he did every job he could find for his parents and neighbors to earn the money. He was very excited when he finally had enough money to buy the puppy.
He enjoyed the puppy and took good care of it. He learned that it took lots of work to keep it healthy and happy.
A testimony is much more important than a pet or any worldly possession. It is something that no one can injure or take without your consent. It is something that will influence your life forever. It is a testimony.
2. Drops of Oil Activity
I had hidden four drops of oil made of construction paper under four of the chairs. I had the students look under their chairs and take the papers out. Here are what my drops of oil looked like:
Each drop has one of the steps that Elder Uchtdorf outlined in his October 2006 Conference talk about gaining a testimony. I had the student with the drop that says "desire to believe" come and put it in this picture of a cruse:
Then I had him read this quote from Elder Uchtdorf's talk:
First: Desire to believe. The Book of Mormon encourages us: “If [you] will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, … even if [you] can no more than desire to believe” (Alma 32:27)...God promises us divine help even if we have only a desire to believe, but it has to be a true and not a pretended desire.
The second student taped the drop that says "search the scriptures" onto the cruse, then I had her read this quote from Elder Uchtdorf's talk:
Second: Search the scriptures. Have questions; study them out; search in the scriptures for answers. Again, the Book of Mormon has good advice for us: “If [you] give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart” through diligent study of the word of God, the good seed “will begin to swell within your breasts” if you will not resist with unbelief. This good seed will “enlarge [your] soul” and “enlighten [your] understanding” (Alma 32:28).
The third student taped the drop that says "keep the commandments" onto the cruse, and then I had him read this quote from Elder Uchtdorf's talk:
I did the following activity with my family for FHE once, and they really liked it. This comes from the same place as the legos idea. You can find the pdfs here.
Cut out the stones. Write a few words about
your testimony of the thing referred to on each stone. A few stones have
not been labeled; add your testimony about additional principles of the
gospel on them. As you glue the stones in place on the fortress, think
about how your testimony gives you strength and protection.
I pre-cut and pre-taped the stones for the students. All they have to do is write how they feel about each principle on each stone.
Gaining a testimony is an ongoing process
1. We read this excerpt from Elder Hales' address in April 2012 General Conference (again, one student reads each paragraph to break it up a bit):
Review
To review, I want to play this game I found in a book I have called Gospel Games. Here is my jpg of the gameboard:
And here is my jpg of the rules:
Some of the testimony cards were kind of off topic, so I only scanned the ones I want to use:
And here is my jpg of the "move" wordstrips:
And that, as they say, is that.
1. This idea is straight from the lesson. Give each of the students a paper and a pen. Read Quote #1: Spiritual self-reliance is essential to our eternal well-being. When we are spiritually self-reliant, our testimonies do not depend on the testimonies of others. We seek our own spiritual experiences through praying daily, studying the scriptures, and exercising faith in Jesus Christ. We turn to our Heavenly Father for His help to resolve our own difficult problems. We are also able to strengthen others in their times of spiritual need. (From the online youth manual)
2. After someone reads the quote, have the students write on their paper what they think spiritual self-reliance is. Have a few share what they wrote.
What is a Testimony?
To kind of introduce testimonies, I did a sensory activity that I did once for Family Home Evening a few years ago. It was a hit. And I knew my teenagers would like it. I had two of them sit at the front of the room, facing the other students, and blindfolded both of them. Here's what you do at this point:
Stand behind the first student and ring a bell. Ask him what he heard. Then ask him to touch a piece of soap. Ask what it is. Have him smell a baggie with a piece of cooked bacon in it. Ask him what it is. Give him a piece of cheese to eat. Ask him what it is.
Stand behind the second child. Open a piece of candy behind her. Ask her what that sound was. Ask her to touch a stuffed toy. Ask her what that was. Ask her to smell a baggie with a sectioned orange in it. Ask her to identify it. Have her taste a granola bar. Ask that it was.
Ask the first student, "How did you know I was holding cooked bacon to your nose? Did you need to see it to know what it was?" Ask the second student, "How did you know you were tasting a granola bar? Did you need to see it to know what it was?"
We don't need to see that something is an orange if we smell it. We don't need to see that something is cheese if we taste it.
Can you see Heavenly Father? (No.) But do you know that he is real? (Yes.) How do you know he's real? (By the feelings that we have.) Can you see Jesus Christ? (No.) But do you know that he's real? (Yes.) How do you know he is real? (By the feelings we have.)
The feeling in your heart that Heavenly Father lives and that Jesus is the Christ is called a testimony.
You Can't Rely on Others' Testimonies
1. Interview Activity
I gave each student a little half-page worksheet. Again, this is straight from the online manual. I put the students in groups of two. On the worksheet was a scripture to read. I had three different scriptures, so some kids had the same scripture as others. I made sure that each group had two students with two different scriptures. Here are the three scriptures:
Moroni 9:27
Moroni 10:3-5
D&C 56: 26-28
Here was what the worksheet said (I'm so sorry; I don't have any copies left of this to scan, so I'm just describing this for you): "Directions: Read this scripture - ________________. Then, ask your partner the following questions about their scripture. Write their answers below each question. Then allow your partner to ask questions about your scripture."
Here are the questions they asked each other:
What did the scripture you read say?
What did you learn about spiritual self-reliance from these verses?
What are you inspired to do because of what you read?
Then I had a few of them share their own or their partners' answers.
2. Parable of the Ten Virgins Activity
I wanted to review the Parable of the Ten Virgins. I split them up into four groups, and I gave each group a few verses of the parable to read to themselves, and then illustrate. Then, I had each group show the others their part of the parable and relate it to them. Here's how I divided it up:
Group 1: Matthew 25:1-5
Group 2: Matthew 25:6-7
Group 3: Matthew 25:8-9
Group 4: Matthew 25:10-12
The kids got a big kick out of this activity. They're funny.
My mom has a lamp similar to the kinds that were used in Israel that I showed to the kids:
I now want to use one of many possible interpretations of the parable of the ten virgins to highlight the relationship between testimony and conversion...Please think of the lamps used by the virgins as the lamps of testimony. The foolish virgins took their lamps of testimony but took no oil with them. Consider the oil to be the oil of conversion...
Were
the five wise virgins selfish and unwilling to share, or were they
indicating correctly that the oil of conversion cannot be borrowed? Can
the spiritual strength that results from consistent obedience to the
commandments be given to another person? Can the knowledge obtained
through diligent study and pondering of the scriptures be conveyed to
one who is in need? Can the peace the gospel brings to a faithful
Latter-day Saint be transferred to an individual experiencing adversity
or great challenge? The clear answer to each of these questions is no.
How Can You Gain a Testimony?
1. It's hard work.
I had a student read this story I got out of an old Family Home Evening Manual:
Christopher's Puppy
Nine-year-old Christopher went shopping with his mother. At the pet store, he saw a puppy that he wanted. He asked his mother to buy it for him. She told him if he really wanted it, he would have to earn his own money to buy it. His mother told Christopher that a puppy required lots of care and attention and Christopher would have to be responsible for doing this.
Christopher wanted the puppy very much, so for the next several weeks he did every job he could find for his parents and neighbors to earn the money. He was very excited when he finally had enough money to buy the puppy.
He enjoyed the puppy and took good care of it. He learned that it took lots of work to keep it healthy and happy.
A testimony is much more important than a pet or any worldly possession. It is something that no one can injure or take without your consent. It is something that will influence your life forever. It is a testimony.
2. Drops of Oil Activity
I had hidden four drops of oil made of construction paper under four of the chairs. I had the students look under their chairs and take the papers out. Here are what my drops of oil looked like:
First: Desire to believe. The Book of Mormon encourages us: “If [you] will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, … even if [you] can no more than desire to believe” (Alma 32:27)...God promises us divine help even if we have only a desire to believe, but it has to be a true and not a pretended desire.
The second student taped the drop that says "search the scriptures" onto the cruse, then I had her read this quote from Elder Uchtdorf's talk:
Second: Search the scriptures. Have questions; study them out; search in the scriptures for answers. Again, the Book of Mormon has good advice for us: “If [you] give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart” through diligent study of the word of God, the good seed “will begin to swell within your breasts” if you will not resist with unbelief. This good seed will “enlarge [your] soul” and “enlighten [your] understanding” (Alma 32:28).
The third student taped the drop that says "keep the commandments" onto the cruse, and then I had him read this quote from Elder Uchtdorf's talk:
Third: Do the will of God; keep the commandments.
It is not enough to enter into a scholarly debate if we want to
know for ourselves that the kingdom of God has been restored upon the
earth. Casual study is also not enough. We have to get in on the action
ourselves, and that means learning and then doing God’s will.
We
need to come to Christ and follow His teachings. The Savior taught: “My
doctrine is not mine, but his that sent me. If any man will do his will, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself” (John 7:16–17; emphasis added). And He said, “If ye love me, keep my commandments” (John 14:15).
At this point, we also looked up and read D&C 130:18-19. It went really well with the third step.
Then have the fourth student tape the drop that says "ponder, fast, and pray" onto the cruse and then read this final quote from Elder Uchtdorf's talk:
Fourth: Ponder, fast, and pray.
To receive knowledge from the Holy Ghost, we must ask Heavenly
Father for it. We must trust that God loves us and that He will help us
to recognize the promptings of the Holy Ghost...
The prophet Alma said:
“I testify unto you that I do know that these things … are true. And how do [you] suppose that I know of their surety?
“…
Behold, I have fasted and prayed … that I might know these things of
myself. And … the Lord God hath made them manifest unto me by his Holy
Spirit; and this is the spirit of revelation” (Alma 5:45–46).
My
dear brothers and sisters, Alma received his witness by fasting and
prayer more than 2,000 years ago, and we may have the same sacred
experience today.
*Note - our class time ended at this point. But I had worked really hard on some other parts to this lesson, so I'm planning on doing them next week.
There are Many Parts to a Testimony
1. Legos
I got this idea from the Friend magazine. I'm going to borrow some of my son's legos and explain that a testimony is gained little by little, just as a building is built
brick by brick. We can compare gaining a testimony to constructing a
building. For example, one brick could stand for having a testimony of
the importance of attending church; another brick, a testimony about The Book of Mormon; and yet another brick, a testimony of prayer.
2. Stone Activity
Gaining a testimony is an ongoing process
1. We read this excerpt from Elder Hales' address in April 2012 General Conference (again, one student reads each paragraph to break it up a bit):
The Savior told His disciples about a son who left his wealthy
father, went to a far country, and wasted his inheritance. When a famine
arose, the young man took the lowly job of feeding swine. He was so
hungry that he wanted to eat the husks meant for the animals.
Away
from home, far from the place he wanted to be, and in his destitute
condition, something of eternal significance happened in the life of
this young man. In the Savior’s words, “he came to himself.”1
He remembered who he was, realized what he had been missing, and began
to desire the blessings freely available in his father’s house.
Throughout our lives, whether in times of darkness, challenge, sorrow, or sin, we may feel the Holy Ghost
reminding us that we are truly sons and daughters of a caring Heavenly
Father, who loves us, and we may hunger for the sacred blessings that
only He can provide. At these times we should strive to come to ourselves and come back into the light of our Savior’s love...
As our spiritual desires increase, we become spiritually self-reliant.
2. Spiritual Desires Worksheet
I'm going to hand these out and have the kids write on them. If they feel like sharing, I'd like to hear some of their spiritual desires. But if they don't, it's allll good. But I do want them to share what they wrote in answer to the second question:
To review, I want to play this game I found in a book I have called Gospel Games. Here is my jpg of the gameboard:
And here is my jpg of the rules:
And here is my jpg of the "move" wordstrips:
And that, as they say, is that.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
The Life Flight Place. And that's a wrap!
Welp, this is my very last post about my trip to Buffalo. Are you glad? Probably. Really, what I've done to you in posting all about it is basically the 21st century version of making you hang out in my living room while showing you slides of my trip. There's even a Flintstones episode dedicated to how annoying that is. But hey, my blog is for me, too, and, as always, I have blog-will-be-made-into-scrapbook-type visions whenever I post.
So the very last thing we did was go and see where my sister, Beads, works. And for some reason, I can't find any pictures that Ben took of this, so these are all Beads' pictures. Which means she isn't in any of them, dang it.
Beads works on the weekends for a life flight company. She's basically a superhero. The stories she tells me....gruesome. And some of them are awesome - the ones that turn out well, with people living and coming back to visit her and thank her. But yeah, the girl has seen horrible things. She has held peoples' brains and intestines in her hands. Yet she gets squeamish when changing a diaper. Which I think is really funny.
So we saw the little room where she sleeps or studies when she's on call, which was cool. And we met the air traffic controllers. And then we got to see one of the helicopters up close and personal:
Man, that cockpit is tiny. I was worried I was going to knock a stick awry and mess something up.
Then we got to watch a pilot land after having gone on a call. We had to wear special earmuff thingeys, because helicopters are pretty loud. We had to wait for a few minutes, so I started singing the title sequence for Top Gun and pretending to be those dudes on the aircraft carriers who give signals for jets to take off:
You know the song I'm talking about? With the electric guitar going, "Neer, neer, neer, nee-ner nee-ner neer, neer, nee-ner neer, nee-ner neer, nee-ner neeeee-nerrrrr...."
So then the pilot landed, with much noise and wind, and then he let us try on his night goggles, which was seriously sooo cool. (This is my mom):
And then we went inside and talked some more to the pilot. He was really nice.
So that's iiiiiiiiiiiit! The end of the trip photos. We had such a good, good time. As Alanis Morrisette would say, "Thanks for your patience."
So the very last thing we did was go and see where my sister, Beads, works. And for some reason, I can't find any pictures that Ben took of this, so these are all Beads' pictures. Which means she isn't in any of them, dang it.
Beads works on the weekends for a life flight company. She's basically a superhero. The stories she tells me....gruesome. And some of them are awesome - the ones that turn out well, with people living and coming back to visit her and thank her. But yeah, the girl has seen horrible things. She has held peoples' brains and intestines in her hands. Yet she gets squeamish when changing a diaper. Which I think is really funny.
So we saw the little room where she sleeps or studies when she's on call, which was cool. And we met the air traffic controllers. And then we got to see one of the helicopters up close and personal:
So then the pilot landed, with much noise and wind, and then he let us try on his night goggles, which was seriously sooo cool. (This is my mom):
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