In my spinning class, there is very little conversation once the class starts. Most of us get there ten minutes early, set our bikes up, and start pedaling to get warmed up, and we all chit-chat at that time. But once the class starts, everyone shuts up so they can hear the instructions. It's just plain old rude to talk while the teacher is giving instructions. And also, it's really hard to carry on a conversation during class, first of all because the music is reeeeally loud. Second of all, you're working so hard that you are literally unable to talk. You just breathe in and out and occasionally grunt.
Except for this one guy. I have these two ladies I spin next to who I love, and one of them, Maggie, calls him Kermit. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because he's short of stature. He really is quite small. But he has the loudest, most booming voice I've ever heard.
Maggie has nicknames for other people in class, too. I believe he calls a man and his wife that always come to class, "Ball and Chain." I asked her what she calls me. She shrugged and said, "Karlenn." Well at least it's that and not, like, Miss Piggy. :)
Anyways, we'll be in the middle of class, huffing and puffing and dripping in sweat, and he'll strike up a conversation with whoever he is next to. I can't ever hear the person responding. But I always hear Kermit. The man's voice carries.
And he'll yell out random information to the class as a whole while we're going - "I JUST HIT 600 WATTS!" "I JUST DID THAT AT A LEVEL 18!!!" "HOW MANY RPM'S ARE YOU GUYS AT? I JUST DID THAT HILL AT 85 RPMS AND A LEVEL 20!!!"
He thinks well of himself.
Sometimes I think he has Little Man Syndrome.
I really shouldn't be so mean. He's always been nice to me. He helped me figure out how to clip my spinning shoes into those cleat things on the pedals. And I appreciated that. I guess my point is that he amuses me. He has much confidence.
So about a month or two ago, our teacher that night played Gangnam Style by Psy. Now, I ordinarily don't do stuff like this - I'm kind of a shy, introverted person in spinning class - but my sis, Beads, was there with me, and I get a little bit silly when I'm with any of my sisters. And we were in a recovery for a couple of minutes - in between hills. So we were just spinning our legs on a really light level, sitting up straight for a minute, wiping ourselves down, getting drinks, etc.
Anyways, I started doing the hand motions that you see in the video for Gangnam Style. You know the ones. You're riding a horse, you're lassoing.... It's just plain fun. If I hadn't been on a bike, I would have done the leg part of the dancing. It's an infectious song! And Beads started laughing and doing the hand motions, too.
And then Kermit starts bellowing.
"YOU GUYS HEARD ABOUT THE THINGS PSY SAID ABOUT AMERICA A LONG TIME AGO, RIGHT?"
We all nodded.
If you haven't heard about this story, you can read about it here. Basically, Psy said some anti-American things like ten years ago, and now he regrets it and has apologized. The news came out a couple of days before the White House Christmas Celebration, at which he was slated to perform. He apologized, and the Obamas still let him perform, I guess.
Kermit continued his rant.
"AND YOU HEARD THAT PRESIDENT OBAMA LET HIM PERFORM AT THE WHITE HOUSE CHRISTMAS THINGEY, RIGHT??"
Honestly, I don't know how he gets the lung power to talk so loud when his heart rate is so high from his seemingly Herculean spinning strength.
We all nodded. You know, because it's hard to speak when you're trying to recover and lower your heart rate for a minute.
And then he said something really off-the-wall.
"THE NEXT TIME I SEE EITHER PSY OR PRESIDENT OBAMA, I'M GOING TO PUT A BULLET IN EACH OF THEIR HEADS."
And like this title says, if Gangnam Style hadn't been blasting, you could have heard crickets. Some people ducked their heads. Some people's jaws dropped. My friend Maggie swore under her breath and said something about "Kermit." I laughed. (I often laugh in uncomfortable situations.) Brianna shook her head slightly and closed her eyes.
The teacher quickly switched songs and had us start on another hill.
Kermit is an outdoor rider, and since the weather has been nicer, he hasn't been in spinning class as often.
And I'm okay with that.