Sunday, December 8, 2013

Breath of Heaven

I was sitting in my bedroom this morning, folding clothes on my bed and listening to churchy Christmas music.  This is a dangerous activity.  (Not the folding of clothes, but the listening to Christmas music.)  Because I can get a little emotional about some songs.  I've been known to cry in my car more than once when a really beautiful song about Christ's birth comes on.  I know when to hurry and turn the radio off when I'm in the car or in front of my kids.  They get really freaked out when I cry.

So this morning, one of my historical tear-jerkers came on the radio, "Breath of Heaven."  I looooove this song so much.  Anything involving Christ brings tears to my eyes, because I love Him.  He is my Savior.  He is my brother.  He is my redeemer.

But I think another reason this song means so much to me is that it kind of echoes my feelings as a mother.  I don't mean in any way to compare my motherhood to Mary's motherhood, or my situation to her situation.  She bore the son of God.  She carried a very, very heavy burden.  She would eventually watch him die.  I cannot even imagine all that she went through.

But the lyrics really echo how I feel a lot of the time:

Do you wonder as you watch my face
If a wiser one should have had my place?
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of Your plan
Help me be strong, help me be, help me

Breath of Heaven, hold me together
Be forever near me, Breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness
Pour over me Your holiness for You are holy
Breath of Heaven

I often feel that I'm not worthy to be a mother to these beautiful, amazing children.  I often feel very overwhelmed.  And fearful that I'm doing a terrible job.  And I pray, more than once a day - more like constantly, in my head - for Him to hold me together.  To help me be strong.  To be near me.  To lighten my darkness. 

I think that's why this song means so much to me.  It's an echo of the thoughts that constantly run through my head.  But this I know - the only way I'm going to be even a little successful is with His help.  I absolutely cannot do it alone.  I am weak.  I am impatient.  I'm often in darkness.  But part of Christ's atonement - and I learned this through a lot of gospel study - is that He can give us the strength we don't have.  He can help us do good things - and raising children correctly is a good thing - when what we can give isn't enough.  I'll offer all I am, and He will help make up the difference.

It's that hope that holds me together and keeps me going.

5 comments:

Megan said...

Wow, Kar, you are so right! Thank you for sharing this post and your thoughts! I totally got goosebumps and could feel the spirit so strong as I read your words! You have said what I couldn't. I often feel overwhelmed and inadequate too. I'm going to listen to this song and possibly cry:) Love you! You are an amazing mom!!

oakleyses said...

louis vuitton outlet, louboutin, ray ban sunglasses, gucci outlet, prada outlet, longchamp handbags, louis vuitton handbags, burberry outlet, longchamp outlet, nike free, air max, coach outlet store online, oakley sunglasses, louboutin outlet, michael kors outlet online sale, polo ralph lauren, louis vuitton, christian louboutin, true religion jeans, michael kors outlet, michael kors outlet, kate spade outlet, coach outlet, ray ban sunglasses, chanel handbags, louis vuitton outlet stores, louboutin shoes, tiffany and co, michael kors outlet, burberry outlet, nike shoes, tory burch outlet, true religion jeans, michael kors outlet, louis vuitton outlet, oakley sunglasses, polo ralph lauren outlet, prada handbags, coach factory outlet, oakley sunglasses cheap, michael kors outlet, air max, jordan shoes, coach purses, tiffany and co, longchamp handbags, kate spade handbags

oakleyses said...

north face, abercrombie and fitch, converse pas cher, lululemon outlet online, air force, sac longchamp, ray ban sunglasses, nike blazer, air jordan, sac guess, polo ralph lauren, michael kors, louis vuitton, oakley pas cher, michael kors pas cher, sac louis vuitton, michael kors, ray ban pas cher, air max, nike tn, new balance pas cher, ralph lauren, true religion outlet, mulberry, longchamp, nike roshe run, hogan outlet, louis vuitton uk, nike air max, air max pas cher, hollister, nike roshe, barbour, vans pas cher, sac burberry, nike free pas cher, nike trainers, nike huarache, north face, polo lacoste, true religion outlet, timberland, vanessa bruno, nike free, sac louis vuitton, air max, louboutin, hollister, sac hermes

oakleyses said...

celine handbags, nfl jerseys, bottega veneta, new balance shoes, p90x, rolex watches, ugg boots clearance, valentino shoes, ugg boots, uggs outlet, mont blanc, soccer jerseys, longchamp, jimmy choo outlet, ugg pas cher, vans shoes, birkin bag, hollister, insanity workout, ferragamo shoes, abercrombie and fitch, instyler, wedding dresses, herve leger, mac cosmetics, reebok outlet, north face jackets, nike roshe run, canada goose outlet, canada goose jackets, ugg australia, beats by dre, mcm handbags, canada goose, north face outlet, canada goose, marc jacobs, lululemon outlet, chi flat iron, giuseppe zanotti, soccer shoes, canada goose, babyliss pro, uggs, asics running shoes, ugg, ugg boots, ghd

oakleyses said...

baseball bats, links of london, timberland boots, canada goose, canada goose uk, louboutin, hollister clothing store, ugg, moncler outlet, vans, pandora charms, gucci, karen millen, hollister, oakley, pandora jewelry, lancel, moncler, coach outlet store online, toms shoes, air max, louis vuitton, rolex watches, ralph lauren, converse, moncler, ugg, supra shoes, swarovski crystal, hollister, ray ban, wedding dresses, converse shoes, moncler, juicy couture outlet, moncler, thomas sabo, pandora charms, swarovski, parajumpers, iphone 6 cases, juicy couture outlet, moncler, canada goose, montre homme, moncler, air max

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...