Monday, January 6, 2014

First Impressions

I honestly think that I have Bad First Impression Karma.  Blind dates never, ever worked out for me.  I think I would get nervous and then hyper and...the guy wouldn't ever call me back.  But truly, usually, when a friend set me up, she would say, "You're funny, and he's funny, so you two would be PERFECT together!"  But two funnies do not necessarily make a good match.

Anywho, only one week after we started going to our new ward, Ben got a calling - 11-year-old scout leader.  And I'm really glad.  Because Dyl will be 11 next year.  And when they're 11, they start going on campouts.  And when Dylan goes to campouts....he fa-reaks out.  His ADHD meds make him really scared of bugs.  And obviously, there is a multitude of bugs when you go camping.  A throng.  A horde. 

This last summer, my parents rented a camper and invited the kids to sleep over with them at a camping area not too far away. 

Dylan had a full-on meltdown.

Like, curled in a ball in the bathroom of the camper, rocking back and forth and in hysterics meltdown.

To calm him down, my mom had to give him half of her restless legs syndrome pill.  It knocked him out.  Those pills have come in handy.  Well, except for when I took half of one on a plane and threw up the whole plane ride.

Anyways, so having Ben there during campouts will hopefully help.  Or maybe Ben will swear at him in front of the other kids and leaders and that will really embarrass me.  I mean, I'm the swearer of the couple (really working on that), but when Ben is pushed, he'll throw out a few choice words.  So it might not be such a good thing that Ben will be Dylan's leader.

So when the 2nd counselor called Ben in to offer him the calling and Ben accepted, the counselor said, "Sooooo, what kind of a calling do you think your wife might be interested in?"

And this is what he said.  Word for word.  He told the counselor:

"Well, if you give her a primary calling, she probably won't ever come back.  She hates children."

She hates children.

When Ben told me what he said, I was like, "Be-ennnnnnnnn!!!" 

And I DON'T hate children.  I just....hate baby-sitting.  And I love my children.  I do.  And I love lots of other peoples' children.  I guess I just don't really get children sometimes.  I get teenagers more than I get children.  (For now.  Until I have my own, probably.)  And I think I don't do well with the whole neediness thing.  I think I do better when kids are a little older and more self-sufficient.

And it's not that I hate children.  It's just that...I have primary at my house all day, every day.  I don't need any more primary in my life right now.  I need some space from that.  Which means that I'm basically a bad Mormon woman. :)  Haha!  We're supposed to be all, "I love children!  I love giving every second of my time for children!"  And I'm...just not that way.  And I feel badly about it, but it's just how I be.

So the bishopric must think that I'm a total harpie or something. 

We've been in the ward for a month and a half and I still don't have a calling.

Which I'm seriously really cool with.  Trust me.  I'm loving the break. I not have a calling because the bishopric thinks I'm evil?  Possibly.

The 1st counselor called us on the phone on Saturday and asked us if we would attend a new Marriage and Family class during Sunday School time at church every week.  We obviously said yes - I mean, who doesn't need little reminders about having healthy marriages and happy families? 

But part of me thought, "Are they asking us to go to this class because they think I'm a harpy who hates children??"

Hahaha!  We went to the class yesterday, and it was great.  And hopefully, as the bishopric gets to know me, they'll know that I'm a pretty nice person. 

Just don't ever ask me to baby sit.

Just kidding!

Kind of.

Last night, we invited Ben's niece (I guess I should say that she's my niece.  Because she really is mine, too) and her boyfriend down from BYU-I for dinner and games.

And I'm afraid that we gave poor Ryker (the boyfriend) a bad first impression.  Because I have Bad First Impression Karma. 

I think I was hyper and weird and loud. 

And Ben had 'Roid Rage.  Seriously.  The man has bronchitis, and he got some kind of medicine to help with his cough or the fluid in his lungs or...something.  And the medicine is a steroid.  And Ben misread the label.  Which he didn't realize until late last night.  He was supposed to take two a day for five days or something, and he thought it said "Two pills, five times a day."  So he did that for a couple of days. 

And yesterday, he was in the foulest mood!  Yelling at everyone, saying passive aggressive mean things, or just being totally silent, sullen, and sulky.  SSS.  So I was being Mrs. Hyper and Crazy, and he was just sitting there, sulking, and hardly talking. 

And the kids were being their usual charming selves.  Screaming, getting into fights, Sadie putting makeup on Micah, etc.  But maybe they weren't so bad.  Maybe my perception is tinged by my general hatred of children.

It was awkward.  Poor, poor Ryker.  And Taylor, my niece, doesn't know me that well, so she was probably like, Dude


Want some pictures from our night?  Well, okay.
 See?  Hyper.
 Ben may look like he's having fun here, but trust me.  Sullen.

We played Wacky Six.  A fun game.  They seemed to like it. Taylor kicked everyone's butts.

Ryker's all, "Get me away from these crazy people!"  Look at Dylan's face.

It just occurred to me that they should call my family the Wacky Six.

I did give Taylor and Ryker cookies to take home.  Hoping to mend the bad first impression...


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