We were reading in the scriptures the other night - since our kids are so young, we read the ones that look kind of like cartoon strips. Do you know the ones?
Anyways, we've been reading in the Old Testament since the beginning of the year, and parenthetically, a lot of the stuff that goes on in the Old Testament has kind of weirded the kids out. They really hate the stuff about sacrificing animals on an altar and things like that. Heck, I've been reading the Old Testament on my own at night, and I'm equally weirded out by some of this stuff. My sister, Nat, and I had the funniest text conversation about this the other day.
Me: I've been reading the New Testament and going, "Whaaaaa?" half the time. Like, when Sarah beats up Hagar and tosses her and Ishmael out, and Abraham lets her? The Hagar thing was Sarah's idea in the first place!!
Nat: I've been reading the Old Testament too - barely started. I read that Lot's two daughters slept with him after getting him drunk so they could preserve the line. Ew!!!
Me: I totally just read that part, too! And how the angels came to hang out in Lot's house, and all the guys in Sodom were outside the door, like, "He-ey, we want to get it on with your male guests!"
Nat: And then Lot was like, "Take my daughters and have your way with them instead!" I was like, "What are your daughters, chopped liver?"
Me: I know!! I think there is a looot of the Old Testament that was tampered with. If Lot was good enough to have angels visit, then he wouldn't treat his daughters that way...
Nat: Seriously. Or there was a part about someone being drunk and naked...was it Noah? And one of the sons told the others and he got in trouble. I'm like, "Why is an usherer of a dispensation drunk?"
Me: Haha! And lying there, naked???
Nat: Yeah! Like, his robe was open and they could see his nakedness...something like that. I was like, jigga-what?
Me: I mean, maybe it was really hot or something? I just don't know...
Anywho. The other night, when it was time to read scriptures, and Dylan was dinking around in the tub. All the other kids had been bathed and were ready for bed. The kids really love scripture time and hate to miss out. We kept saying, "Dyl, we're going to start without you...."hoping that he'd get the hint and hurry it up, but when his ADHD pills aren't in his system any longer (about 7 p.m.), there is just no getting him to do anything in a hurry.
So we gave him one last chance - "Dyl, this is your last chance! We're going to start reading in two seconds!"
Dylan yelled from the open bathroom, "I'll just listen while I'm in the tub!"
And we yelled, "Well, we're not going to yell-read. If you can't hear it, tough noogies."
Dylan interjected loudly from his bathtub at this point. "They never do!!"
We laughed and laughed. Maybe you had to be there. I don't know. But it was funny. He could hear everything from that bathtub and wanted to be in on the action.