Saturday, June 28, 2014

Twerking Tutorial

Okay, let's get this out of the way - Ben had his interview, and it went well, and the guy was like, "How much are you looking at, salary-wise?"  And Ben said an amount which, according to those salary calculators, is what we make here, but converted into what it would be in Vegas.  That is a really awkward sentence.  Does it make sense at all?  We make such-and-such an amount here, and if you use this online calculator, it will tell you how much you would need to make in a different city to have the same lifestyle.  Our lifestyle is pretty bare bones - hand-to-mouth, no savings...  Student loan payments are enormous.  So Ben told him the amount that we would need to basically survive in Vegas, and the guy was like, "Oooh, that's pretty steep...we'll see what I can do."  Steep my butt.  Whatever.  So we're supposed to hear from them on Monday.

There is another company in SLC that's interested in Ben, so we're trying to set up an interview with them.  Also, there is a different dome company that is looking for a project manager for three months in N. Carolina.  Ben would get paid for it, on top of the severence pay he's getting, plus he would get per diem, plus if the project is satisfactory at completion, he'd get $10,000 on top of that.  So we're thinking that, if this Vegas thing and SLC thing don't work out, he might go do this project management thing and then keep applying for jobs in the evenings, etc.  That way, we can just save everything he makes over there to give us some more cushion in case he hasn't found anything when his severence ends at the end of August.  Ben needs to tell the dome company his answer toward the beginning of next week.

Basically, this is just a huge waiting game.  And waiting/being patient isn't my strongest suit.

Speaking of which, my friend Shelly, who is a Dressing Your Truth guru, thinks I may actually be a type 3 instead of a type 2!!!!  Whattttttt?????  We had a long conversation about it, and she says that, with my facial features and my movement, I'm more of a 3 than a 2.  When she told me, I got excited.  "I'm DETERMINED???" I almost shouted.  Which, in and of itself, might show that I'm not this calm Type 2 person.  And she said that the fact I was excited about it instead of dismayed was a really good sign.  I've always wanted to be a stronger person.  Willing to stand up for myself, etc.  So anyways.  I may be a type 3.  And I like type 3 clothes a ton better than type 2 clothes.  But I still would rather die than ever wear a, like, business jacket.  There are ladies that wear those to church, and they look so cute, but that just sooo ain't me.  I'm not a businesswoman, dude.  I'm a stay-at-home mom.  Shelly discovered that she was really a type 1 instead of a type 2, and I told her that I will punch her in the face if she ever wears one of those stupid fake gerber daisies in her hair like some of the type 1s in those tutorial videos do.  She laughed and promised me she will NEVER do that. :)

Oh, and on the dance teacher front, I got to teach an advanced pointe class yesterday - it was a blast.  And a different company has contacted me and I have a tryout dance class I have to teach Monday for them.  So wish me luck!  It's also advanced pointe, so I'm just going to teach the same class I taught yesterday.  Easy peasy.

Gage is sitting on my lap and playing with my hair.  I love that. :)

Um, okay, so on to what I wanted to talk about.  This happened cleeeear last fall, and I kept forgetting to put it on here.  And it was soooooooo funny.

So this was during the whole "Whoa, Miley Cyrus is a promiscuous lady now!" hype.  The whole twerking-at-the-some-kind-of-MTV-awards-thingey thing had happened, etc.  I didn't want to look up twerking, because I just figured it was probably a bad idea.  I generally try to avoid naughty images if I can help it.  But I had a general idea of what it might entail.

This one's not too bad:

So two of my sisters, Nat and Lex, plus my mom and I, went up to BYU-Idaho to see an Improv group perform.  Which was seriously hilarious.  We laughed so hard.  They did a really good job.  And we were waiting for the box office thing to open, and we were talking about how they always ask for suggestions from the audience.  So we were trying to figure out random funny suggestions to yell out.  We decided that we'd yell out my foot condition "PLANTAR FASCIITIS!" because it sounds funny.  And because I like to say it with a really thick southern accent.  And we decided we should yell "TWERKING!" at some point, because it was on everybody's radar at that time.

And I go, "You know, I don't really even know what twerking entails..."

And Lex goes, "I'll show you.  But let's go into an empty classroom or something.  I'm not doing it out here with everyone."

So we all run into a classroom, giggling.  And Lex proceeds to show us, using really clinical terms, what you do when you're twerking.  And then she said, and these are the exact words, "A variation of twerking is when you do this..." and then proceeded to show us the variation.  We were laughing soooo hard.  She was, like, twerking against the chalkboard.

What we didn't know was that the improv group gathers into this classroom right before they go out to perform, and luckily, just as they were coming in, Lex was straightening herself up while we were all laughing.  They looked at us like, "Huh?" and we just ran out of there.  It was hilarious.

And yes, I got to yell out PLANTAR FASCIITIS! during the performance.  They were like, "We need a question.  Who has a really good question for us?"  So I yelled, in my really thick southern accent, "What should ahhh do about mah plantar fasciitis??"  And it was just a weird enough question that they decided to go with that. They had three "experts," one playing some kind of tough-love life coach, one playing a little kid, and one who talks like that ghost on Adventure Time.  So they each gave me "advice."  And none of them knew what plantar fasciitis is.  Haha!  It was funny.  Good times.


Mindy H. said...

Great Post!

I am glad to hear that things are happening on the job front. Waiting is frustrating, but at least there are interviews and options in the meantime. Blessings!

I am so glad that Spence and Briana are in town becuase 1)I get to hold Morgan, and 2)I get to see you! I can't wait to communicate in person!

Megan said...

LOL!! I've wondered what twerking is, but like you I never wanted to look it up. Glad you have a sister to show you what it is. haha sounds like a fun night! :)

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