Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!!!

"Turrrrrn and face the CHANNNNNGE! Ch-ch-ch-CHANGE-ES!"

I just like that song. Always have.

So. Before we left, we had the Nappy Neighbors on one side of us. We had the recently-divorced nice guy on the other side. Across the street, we had the Drug Dealer/Domestic Violence Couple. Also across the street, we had sweet Nephi (maker of nasty applesauce) and Dorothy (I think she might be a lesbo, but I'm not sure. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Just some exposition for ya).

When we came back, many things had happened:

1) The biggest, and best, news is that the Drug Dealer got sent to jail (presumably for drug dealing, but you never know), and her husband, Mr. Domestic Violence, ALSO got sent to jail! He was arrested, like, two days before we moved to China, thanks in part to us. He was out on his front lawn, beating Drug Dealer up. Like, holding her with one arm and punching her right in the FACE. So we called the police, and they arrested him and took him away. Nephi told me later that he had also called the police.

Like a winner, Drug Dealer dropped charges against Mr. Domestic Violence. And they were back together again. So it wasn't the Domestic Violence charges that got him in the end. He was actually stealing car parts and hiding them in his garage! Hahaha! So, he got caught, and now he's in the slammer.

Another fun piece of info that Nephi gave me about these guys - when Domestic Violence came back, he told Nephi that the police actually TOLD him who called the cops on him. So he knew we had done it, and he knew that Nephi had done it. Which is REALLY neat. I thought one could trust cops not to divulge information like that??? Maybe not. What if he had, like, retaliated against us??? Nephi has told me several times (he tends to repeat himself sometimes) that he informed Domestic Violence that he carries a firearm in his house, and, from that time forward, Domestic Violence "killed [Nephi] with kindness." I guess Nephi scared Domestic Violence (according to him). Big, tough Neph.

AND, this is what kills me: Domestic Violence told Nephi that Drug Dealer told him that, after he returned from jail after Domestic Violence incident, Drug Dealer had an extra $100 on her person. Domestic Violence demanded where she had gotten the $100. She actually told him that WE, my hubby and I, GAVE it to her. Dude, I wouldn't give her $1, much less $100. She didn't want to tell her boyfriend where she had gotten this money. And, according to Nephi, he BELIEVED her!! What in his experience with her makes him think that anything she says to him is the TRUTH?? Hahaha!

Ben actually saw Drug Dealer at Burger King a few weeks ago. She was working in the drive through window. Ben said, "Aren't you, um...."

"In jail?" she said, helpfully.

"Yeah."

"Oh, yeah," she said, cheerfully, "But they have us do this work release thing, so..."

Ben said he felt really scared and worried when he handed her his credit card to pay for his burger. Yikes. Bikes.

All their stuff was inside and around their house for about a month or so, and then I saw the owner of the house come and clean it all out and cart it away. And then he's been cleaning and fixing the house ever since. There must have been some extensive damage to the home. I saw lots of contractors and people coming over for the past few months. I just want to say, "Next time, if you want someone who actually takes care of your property, CHECK THEIR REFERENCES!!!" Jeez Louise. Nephi says this isn't the first time the owner has rented to horrible people. It makes me so mad. Thanks for making our lives a nightmare for a year, dude. Thanks a lot.

2) Nice divorcee next door - he lost his house. He couldn't pay child support plus his mortgage, etc. etc. So he's gone. And the house sits empty. I feel badly for him. It's his wife who left him. She wanted "more freedom," and last time we talked, he said she spent most of her time bar-hopping. He was so, so sad. He just wanted her back. And his kids back.

3) The Nappy Neighbor parents separated. Nephi told me that another neighbor told him that the hubby - let's call him Hank - actually had an affair and left the wife - let's call her Lana - for the "other woman." Sad, sad, sad. The kids have been pretty mopey. And I don't blame them. One of the many hard things about this situation is that they work for the same company. Awkward. I feel so badly for Lana. Today, I saw Hank come and get several pieces of furniture. He's been out of the house for at least four months, so I'm wondering if he just came to get more furniture than he already took with him for his new apartment, or if the wife and kids are losing the house because they can't afford it now, and he's helping them move? Who knows???

Here's my thing - I know Hank. I actually grew up with him; went to the same schools as him. And he's kind of...a dud. Really a boring guy. Not charming or funny or any of those things that you might imagine being attractive to a woman, you know?? He's not handsome. He has a really high voice and is pretty hefty. Maybe this is mean of me, but I'm like, "Who would want to have an affair with him??" I just don't get it. But I guess there's someone out there for everyone, right? I shouldn't be all judgey. Maybe he's really interesting when you get to know him?

So that's what's going on in our soap-operettic neighborhood. Such drama. What can I say? We leave, and the whole block goes to pot! Haha! Just kidding. At least we still have dear Nephi, who, by the way, sneakily shoveled my walk one evening:

The man is 84 years old and has prostate cancer, and here he is, shoveling my snow. What a babe.