Monday, January 16, 2012

Sadie Lately

Sadie actually went through a tough time transitioning back to life in the States. Which was weird. She didn't necessarily love living in China. But I think it was hard coming back to school for her, first of all, because anything that cuts into her playing time is NOT okay with her, and secondly, because I think a lot of the girls in her grade and class had already established friendships, and she had a hard time finding her niche again.

She had been pretty good friends with a girl named Daisy last year. When I took Sades back to school that first day, she was nervous, so I stood in line outside with her while they waited to go in to their class. Some kids said hi to Sadie, some kids stared, some kids didn't care. Whatevs. But I'll never forget the look on Daisy's face. It wasn't curiosity. It wasn't happiness. It was absolute, unequivocal dismay. She was NOT happy that Sadie was back. And I thought that was so weird.

On Halloween, the kids had a little Halloween parade at school. Sadie was talking to a little girl "with orange hair," as she puts it. She told the orange-haired girl that she would like to maybe have a play-date with her sometime. Daisy had overheard their conversation, grabbed the orange-haired girl's hand, yelled, "YOU WILL NOT HAVE A PLAY DATE TOGETHER!! SHE IS MY FRIEND!!!" and dragged the girl away.

Dylan actually heard Daisy yelling at Sadie, from inside his classroom. It was that loud.

Sadie also said that Daisy would give her mean looks on the bus. I try to stay out of a lot of things - I don't want to be one of those "helicopter parents." And I think it's important for kiddos to learn to deal with difficult social situations. However, when I heard about the screaming incident, I was like, okay, that's enough. So I called the school counselor, explained the situation, and asked him to maybe pull in both girls and have them talk it out. I mean, who knows - maybe Sadie did something to really offend Daisy. I know from my own experience as a teacher that there are two sides to every story. And sometimes Sadie can be a stinker. If I knew her mom, I would have talked to her myself and gotten her input, for sure. But I don't, so this was the next best thing.

I had talked to the school counselor at the beginning of November, and has he pulled the girls in for a talk? Nope. I guess maybe he thought it would blow over. I ask Sadie about Daisy from time to time. She says Daisy still gives her mean looks, but there haven't been any more screaming incidents. So maybe everything is okay for now...

Sadie's teacher told me that she had a hard time in the class with being back. She kind of stayed by her teacher's side at all times, and was sullen and frowny and pouty a lot. Sounds familiar. Like I said, she can be a stinker sometimes. I guess some kid came to school with a new mohawk, and it fa-reaked Sadie out. She couldn't even look at the kid. Weird. But her teacher, at parent-teacher conference time, said that Sadie seemed to be more at ease, more like the "old Sadie" she used to know. (Sadie's teacher taught her in kindergarten last year. She took the 1st grade position that became available when a teacher retired at the end of the year last year.)

Sades is really, really, really forgetful (the poor girl has two forgetful parents - she was doomed from the get-go). She often forgets to bring her homework home, or forgets to turn it in when she gets to school. It drives me berzerk. I keep telling her how embarrassed she'll be if she flunks 1st grade and has to repeat it again...

Her teacher says she's right there in the average, as far as reading and math skills go. Which is good. Dylan does so well in school that it's hard not to compare and worry. But as long as she's not behind, that's good.

Her dance teacher (my cousin, Kort), moved back to California last summer, so Sadie hasn't been doing anything extracurricular since we've been back. We just don't really have the fundage. Or the time. Maybe we'll sign her up for something once we get our feet under us a little more. She says she wants to learn to play golf. Which I think is adorable.

When Dylan got baptized, like two days before we left for China, Sadie stared at him in horror as he was immersed in the water, and then brought back up. She leaned over to me and said, "When it's time for me to be baptized, do I have to go all the way in the water like that?"

"Well, yeah, hon."

She frowned, folded her arms, and said, "Well, then I'm NOT going to do it."

One-on-one time with me is really important to her. She insists upon us spending time together quite often. Which is cute. She's always saying, "Mom, when can you and me do something together?" She loves to play games with me. Her favorite is "Bonopoly." She likes to build houses and hotels on her property. That's her favorite. My mom had two different Aggravation board games, so she gave me one, and now Sades likes to play that with me a lot.

Sadie still isn't much of a girly-girl. When her friends come over to play, they are always saying, "Where are your dress-ups? Let's play dress-up." We don't have any. Sadie couldn't care less about playing dress-ups. She prefers to run around and hide and jump out and yell at people. I guess it comes from having all brothers.

I just love this girl. I worry about her a lot. I worry about all my kids. It comes with the territory when you're a parent.


Aprillium said...

I agree that it probably comes from having only brothers :) Missy has like one dress up thing and it's not even remarkably dress up like... she could totally wear it out.

We need to get those two together again! :D

Emily Empey said...

Haha she is a stinker! But I love her! Love that picture of her!

brooke said...

I think that she is so cute! I am pretty sure that she will just need some time...and I think that the mommy and me time is a great idea! Good job!!!

spoonTRex said...

Sadie is such a cutie!! Do you want to trade her for Jonas?!! Brynnan would have a friend and Jonas would have a friend:) hehe Jonas is being a real pill lately. I worry about him too. I'm so glad Sadie loves to play with my boys. She is a stinker, but she's a great girl:)

Lyndsay said...

Awww, Kar, that has to be hard on you, too, seeing her try to adjust being back in the States. I hope things keep picking up for her and she finds new, wonderful friends!!

Kyle and Shelly said...

Hey Kar-
I soo know how you feel watching your sweetie getting adjusted to life again. Give it some time, it usually takes our kids about 6 months to get back into the groove totally after moving. Since we have moved so much you'd think that they would be used to it but alas, no. Encourage and love and let her know that even though it can stink now it will get better!

Gloria said...

It always bothers Mothers if they think their child isn't getting a fair shake. She will be okay. She's my sweetie.

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