Saturday, September 15, 2012

Me=Sophia Loren

Please tell me that you can feel the tongue-in-cheekishness of that equation.

I do a lot of reading, and sometimes, I'll come across a word or phrase that I'm not familiar with.  Like a good little former English teacher, I usually decide what a word means by using context clues, right?  I'm not much of a looker-upper-in-a-dictionary kind of a gal.  (I'm also a gal who uses hyphens in very non-grammatically-correct kinds of ways.)

For instance, I must have come across the adjective "earthy" a million times in my reading by now.  But I have never properly looked it up.  I felt like it meant "reminds you of the earth."  And I decided that I was earthy.  I don't really know why.  Maybe because I like that image - of reminding people of the earth??  Because I like to work with the earth with all the gardening I do?  I seriously don't know.

So I was working out yesterday at the gym. (I'm taking an Insanity break.  It was getting to the point where I wasn't looking forward to it anymore.)  I did half an hour on the elliptical.  Which felt like heaven, basically.  Sooo much easier than diamond jumps. Or full-body drills.  Or suicides.  I could name fifty other moves that are very unpleasant.  But I'll leave it at that.

Anywho, while I was deciding what to watch as I worked out, I ran across a documentary about Sophia Loren and thought that looked interesting.  They were interviewing all of these directors, and they all kept saying, "Sophia Loren is just so EARTHY."  And I was like, Um, maybe I'm not earthy?  I mean, because look at HER.  And look at ME.

So I looked it up online today.  Among other things, here's what the online dictionary says: 

suggestive of earth (as in texture, odor, or color) earthy

practical, down-to-earth 

plain and simple in style : unsophisticated <earthy peasant cookery> <earthy decor>  

crude, gross <earthy humor> 

Okay, I hit this right on the button.  Really, next to "earthy" in the dictionary, they should have a picture of me.   Suggestive of earth?  Check.  My feet are as rough as stone right now.  My hair is brown.  I probably have an earthy odor after I work out. :)  Practical and down-to-earth? Check.  Example - if I don't have time to do my hair before we go to someone's house or whatever, I say, oh well.  I'm not going to make everyone wait while I do my hair or makeup.  I didn't have time to do it.  And people have to just deal with that.  Plain and simple in style?   Uh, yeah.  Sometimes I see people wearing high heels in the grocery store, and I'm like, "But whyyyyy?  Why would you do that to your feet, to go shopping??"  I buy t-shirts like crazy because I know that if I buy a nice sweater or blouse, it will be uncomfortable to wear around the house, and it will just get ripped or drooled on.  Crude or gross?  Um, sadly, yeah.  I mean, I'm not that crude, but I don't mind talking about periods and other stuff like that.  I am an open book.

See?  Earthy.  I am earthy.

Um, the only reason I see Sophia Loren as being earthy is because she has tan skin and brown hair.   Those directors should have said that she was sophisticated.  Or statuesque.  Or exotic.  Earthy?  I dunno.

So tonight Ben was giving me crap while we were skyping.  He likes to push my buttons.  He comes home in a week (yeee!).  So we were talking about the time I'm supposed to pick him up, and he's like, "Um, maybe this time when you pick me up, you could dress a little nicer.  Or do your hair and makeup."  

Yeah.  The last time I picked him up, I had just worked out and didn't have time to shower or anything before heading over there.  I threw on a hoodie and a baseball hat and left.  Well, and pants and shoes and all that.  Not just a hoodie and a baseball hat. :)  And I feel kind of badly to have picked Ben up looking like that, but c'mon.  When one person is in charge of AN ENTIRE HOUSEHOLD BY HERSELF, what more can you expect??  I just can't do it all.  So, often, my appearance isn't as cute as it could be.   It's on the backburner.  I could wake up earlier to do something about that, but I just cannot bring myself to wake up earlier than is absolutely necessary.

"Well, Ben," I said in my defense, "It's because I'm earthy.  Like Sophia Loren.  She and I are basically the same person."  He didn't know who on earth I was talking about, so he looked her up right then, and, upon examination of the pictures of Sophia, burst out laughing. 

Yeah, it's a stretch.


Lyndsay said...

Ha ha! Love it! The only time I wear heels in the grocery store (or any store for that matter) is if Brad and I are stopping off for groceries on the way home from the adult session of Stake Conference (which was last night, by the way). And, I'm right there with you on the hair and make-up, most days I do not wear make-up and my hair takes all of 30 seconds to fix. I think you are great, Kar!!

Mindy H. said...

I think you and Sophia are both fabulos... and she should be honored to be compared with a earthy mother earth mother type of mommy like you!

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