Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Fetuccini, linguini, martini, bikini...

Hahaha!  Ohhhhh, I wanted to write this so long ago.  Like, in March.  Sad.  Sad, sad, sad.

I'm in this weird place right now where my priorities are all confused.  I have ten billion things to do for ten billion people, and I'm kind of freaking out.  I was just thinking about that today.  I'm like the girl that dude is singing about on that song, "Everything to Everyone."  I'm trying to be everything to everyone, and I'm not doing a very good job at any of it.  So sorry for the lack of posting lately.  I'm trying to figure my life out.

Have you ever seen that commercial for the Slap Chop?  That's where I got my title from.  You'll have to go watch it on You Tube.  But watch the remix - it's funnier.  And the fetuccini, linguini part is at the very end.  

Anywho, I have a funny story for ya.

So.  When I was about to get married, I knew we were going on our honeymoon to Cancun.  And I knew I'd be in a swimsuit non-stop, right?  And I just did not want to shave my bikini line and have razor burn the whole time I was there. 

So I decided to wax my bikini line.  By myself.

And....I put it off until THE MORNING OF MY WEDDING DAY.  I don't know.  I guess I was just really busy???  And delusional about the time involved in waxing?

My friend, Meliss, was one of my bridesmaids, and she was staying at my parents' house with me for a couple of days during the wedding extravaganza.  Just a little bit of back story there.

So I get up early on the morning of my wedding day, and I go into the bathroom, and I start trying to wax my bikini line by myself.

Oh mama.

Here's the soundtrack for that hour or so:





At one point, Meliss came to the bathroom door and knocked.  "Kar, are you okay???  What are you doing???"

I spent so much time waxing myself that I had to do my makeup on the way to the temple.  Yep.  I did my own makeup on my wedding day.  In the car.  On the way there. 

Bad timing, Kar.  Bad timing.

Fast forward 12 years.  We were getting ready for this trip to Belize in April, and I knew, again, that I would be in a swimming suit non-stop.  And again, I didn't want to shave my bikini line and have razor burn the whole time.

So this time, I actually went to a salon place and got my bikini line waxed. 

Sooooo much better of an experience.  These ladies know what they're doing.

And I was a little worried that I would be really embarrassed, but I gave myself a pep talk.  "Kar, if you can go to the gynie for your yearly, you can get your bikini line waxed.  Just pretend you are at the gynie.  The salon lady is like a doctor."

I told my mom of my plans, and she was...really uncomfortable about that.  "Kar, won't you be embarrassed?  Do you really think this is necessary??"

But I was undaunted.  I was on a mission.  A mission of hairlessness.  Razor burn-less hairlessness.  So I went.

And it really wasn't bad at all.  The gal would cover up the parts that she wasn't waxing, and it was great.  I told her about my mom's trepidation, and she said that it must be a generational thing.  She says that she hardly ever gets women in that are my parents' age; that women my age are more into....landscaping...than the older generation.  Hahaha!

I didn't regret it at all.  No razor burn, and I was clean and clear for two whole weeks!!!  Totally worth it.

TMI?  As The Raven would say, "Sorry/not sorry."


Unknown said...

omg! as soon as I read the line that you were waxing the morning of your wedding SO many memories came back. I think we were sharing a room because Melissa was in my room and I remember hearing you scream and just being mortified because I had NOOOO idea what was going on. Honestly laughed out loud.
I think I would try the waxing, but I heard you have to grow your hair out pretty long to be able to wax it. Maybe I'm wrong? I had a friend that lasered everything which would be awesome if I had a few extra grand laying around.
Also glad you quoted the raved, because I LOOOVE her. And sorry/not sorry for my oversharing comment. Love you sis!
- Lex

Ben said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ben said...

I have to say that both times were way worth it!

Kar said...

Ewww, TMI!!!

Megan said...

I've considered waxing, but I've done it on my legs and it's so painful. I might try going to a salon to get it done maybe... someday! :) That commercial was funny! :)

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