Wednesday, October 30, 2013

A Sexy Zebra

Last week, I got a note home saying that Micah is testing below his classmates on letter recognition, knowledge of letter sounds, and number recognition.  He'll most likely have to get extra help in a special class before or after school starting in December.

And I was sad.  First, because I'm like, "Dude, can I just get a break from the special needs thing??"  It's kind of exhausting.  Dylan with his ADHD.  Sadie had speech therapy for three years.  And she's behind in reading.  Micah was in occupational and developmental therapy for three years.  And I seriously think he has a mood disorder of some kind.  And Gage is developmentally delayed and says maybe four words.  And he's three.  So, you know, it's a bummer. 

But would I trade my kids for anybody else's?  Absolutely not.  I loooooove these guys.  They are mine.  I barfed and had heartburn and felt like my legs were being ripped apart to bring them here.  I breastfed them when they were making me bleed and my toes were curling into the carpet and I was gritting my teeth and sobbing because it hurt so badly.  I've helped pick poop out of their bungholios with my fingers when they were constipated and couldn't get it out.  I've spent entire nights in a bottom bunk of a bed helping them barf into the barf bucket every twenty minutes.  I've lifted and bent and crouched and crawled and broken my body helping them.  And you know, I think you love the people you serve more than the people you don't serve.  I put everything I have into these guys.  They are my crowning glory. 

So, as snarky as I am about them, know that I really do love them with every fiber of my soul.

Anyways, I was also sad when I got the news about Mikey because I worked with him all summer on all three of those things - letter recognition, letter sound memorization, and number recognition - and ever since the first day of school, when Mikey brought home his zoophonics flashcards and number flashcards, we've been working for an hour every single day on them. 

Me:  Kay, Mike, what's this letter?

Micah:  [Long pause while he stares at the card.]  Um, C?

Me:  Nope, it's a G.  You were really close.  It looks a little like a C.  But it has a nail sticking into the bottom of it. Ouch, right? (I find it helps him to kind of draw mental pictures for him.  When we practice writing his name, I say, "Okay, start with two tall, pointy mountains.  Then a short wall with a dot on top.  Then a bowl on its side.  Then a ball with a tail.  Then a tall wall with a fat slide coming off of it."  I've done this with all my kids.)

Micah:  Oh, okay.  A G.

Me:  And what sound does the G say?

Micah:  Um, EEEE?

Me:  Nope, guh.  See the gorilla hanging from the G?  He starts with a guh.  Guh-guh-gorilla.

We do this with every card, every single day.  Now, he is making progress, but it's pretty slow progress.  So I'm all for the extra class.  Any help he can get.  And any more time he can spend away from me is usually a good thing.  Just being honest.  We need our time apart from each other.  We push each others' buttons.

Something I find hilarious is the flash card for the letter Z:
I just think it's a really weird pose for the zebra to strike.  Even a cartoon zebra.  It reminds me of those mud flaps you see of the silhouettes of sexy women.  You know the ones?  The ones that don't look like any real women that I can think of?  It makes me chuckle every time we come to the Z.  What a weird flash card.


Kathleen said...

You're too funny. I had speech therapy when I was a kid and Nicholas (my son) and I are both dyslexic, so it isn't a losing battle. I promise.

Nyline said...

You are hilarious! Miss your face!

Mindy H. said...

You're right. That zebra does have a sort of come-hither look going on. Perhaps it is the publisher's misguided attempt to get more dads to help their kids learn their letters?

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