Saturday, June 1, 2013

Things that Mystify Us

The other day, I was talking on the phone to my sis, Lex.  At one point, she said, "Can I ask you something?"


"Does Ben about his bowel movements?"

"YES!!  Does Chris?"

"YES!!!  Why do they talk about that to us?"

"I don't know.  It's so gross.  I don't want to know how hard Ben worked to get his poo out, or its size..."

"Or how successfully or unsuccessfully it went down the toilet hole..."

"Or if he's prairie-dogging it."

"Alright, what about this - does Ben fart as loud and big as he can when he's in the same room with you and then laugh about it??"

"YES!!  Does Chris?"

"YES!!  Isn't it disgusting?"

"So disgusting.  Why don't they, like, go into the other room?  That's what I do if I feel a fart coming on."

"Does Ben fart when you two are in bed, ready to go to sleep??"

"Yes!!! It's so gross!!!"

"I don't need to smell that when I'm trying to go to sleep."

"Tell me about it.  Again, go out of the room and relieve yourself, and then come back in.  That would be the courteous thing.  Sometimes Ben will do that, and then trap my face underneath the covers so that I have to smell it."


"I know, right?"

"I mean, sometimes a little one will slip out, and you're unprepared for it, right?  So you acknowledge it and apologize for it.  But it's another thing entirely to PUSH THAT FART OUT AS HARD AS YOU CAN so that you can laugh about it.  Or brag about it."

"Gross, gross, gross."

Can you tell that Lex and I grew up in a family of all sisters?   We just don't understand guys.  I often will call and ask my BFF, Pooh, if something that one of my little boys does is "normal."  She grew up with two brothers and has two sons, so I consider her my Guy Expert.  She has them figured out.  After 12 years, I can still say that I don't.  But I'm trying.


Kathleen said...

You are right, that is gross. Seriously. I think guys just don't thing bodily functions are that big of a deal. I also don't think you will ever figure Ben out. Men are a mystery. They think we are hard to understand. Ha! They are absolutely harder to figure out. We love them anyway though. That's to odd beauty to if.

Mindy H. said...

Boys are strange and gross...but awfully cute :-)

Cinderella, the A-Train and Our Little Caboose said...

This is just dudes, it's built into their DNA! Andy does this and my brothers (Nate especially) did this! I can always tell when Andy is about to fart because he kind flexes his abs like his pushing something out. It's ridiculous. I will never understand.

Megan said...

Haha! That's funny. I guess I'm just too comfortable with Mark. I fart in front of him all the time. LOL I had this conversation with my sisters and cousin recently too. Guys are weird.

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