Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Yeah, no....not doing the wig thing.

I went to a class called Look Good, Feel Better tonight.  It's a national program that's been going on for 25 years!  Basically, they talk a little about how to tie scarves artfully on your head, let you pick a free wig if you want it, and then they mainly talk about makeup safety.

Yep, makeup safety.  This was not even on my radar.  But because chemo patients are so prone to infection, we have to start off with all new makeup.  We have to throw away all of our old makeup.  And we have to use disposable mascara wands, makeup wedges, cotton balls, eyeshadow applicators, etc. every time we put on makeup.  It helps cut back on any kind of bacterial infection you could possibly get through makeup.  Who knew???  So the class was specifically on doing this stuff.  We couldn't "double dip" our mascara wands.  We had to swipe enough out of there to apply to both eyes, or we would have to get a new disposable wand.  We had to use cotton balls to put on blush, powder, etc.  We have to wipe our eyeliner and eyebrow pencils after each use.  It was fascinating.  I mean, I'm too lazy most days to do makeup, but perhaps I'll get more into it when I lose my eyebrows and perhaps my eyelashes.

And do you want to know how much this makeup cost me?  Nada.  Do you want to know how much it's worth?  $250!!!!  Not kidding.  They had Clinique stuff.  Lancome stuff.  I mean, really nice stuff. This one gal there said she had the concealer we used, and it's $30!!

Man, I gotta say - there are some perks to having cancer.  I mean for realsies.  I even got cheesecake bites for $2 instead of $4 the other night at the fair.  Yes, I went to the fair again.  I don't want to hear about it.  And keep that thermometer away from me, if you please.  I'm not going to take my temperature EVER AGAIN.  And I'm certainly not going back to that hellhole they call "the hospital."  But the fair - yeah, the dude was all, "Here, just $2 for you."  I was like, "So this is what it's like to be Lexi."  That girl bats her little eyelashes and gets free crap all the time.  Not kidding.

EXCEPT!  The dude at Cal Ranch wouldn't let me hold the cute bunnies.  They're just for people who want to buy them, he said.  I ask you...  I was all, "Awww...they're just so cute.  I really could use a boost, you know, with my cancer and all..." (Actually, I didn't use those words, but I was thinking, "Dude, look at my total lack of hair that you can see if you look at the nape of my neck where my hat ends.  Then you can make your conclusions about my sorry state of affairs and let me snuggle your bunnies!") I mean, they had hand sanitizer there and everything.  My heck.

Anyways, the lady running the class was like, "So would you like a wig??"

And I was like, "Dude, I don't know...they're so itchy and hot...  I just don't know if I'm sold on the idea."

"Try some out!  It can't hurt to try some on."

"Well, um, okay..."

To hilarious results.

The Carol Brady:
 The Dorothy Hamill:
 My grandpa would delicately call this look "Mad Woman S%$t":
 He had a vocab all his own, my gramps.

This was actually this thing you velcro to your hat:
 This looks like Friar Tuck hair underneath the hat.  It's supposed to give the illusion of hair under a hat:

The lady wasn't offended at my pictures.  And I was having a good time.

So nope, I'm not doing the wig thing.  I mean, I could have ordered one, and maybe I'll change my mind later, but from where I'm sitting, I'd rather do my Daisy Buchanan thing, thank you very much:


Brooke Stephens said...

I think you are ROCKIN'it!! NO WIG NEEDED!!

Megan said...

My neice got a really pretty wig a few years ago, but it was SO DANG hot!! She wouldn't wear it a lot. I think her mom got it for her for family pictures. lol I think you look great even without a hat on!! You definitely don't need a wig! Glad you had fun though!! And that is SO awesome you got new makeup!!

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