Sunday, February 12, 2012
The Family Whiner
It's funny, the disparity between how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you. I learned a long time ago not to ever ask people what other people say about me when they talk about me. I don't wanna know. Well, okay. I wanna know only if it's GOOD. That's why I like to pass along compliments whenever possible. "Hey, Sweeney and I were just saying what a good singer you are, Stacy!" Stuff like that. Yes, Sweeney. It just popped into my head. I don't really know anyone named Sweeney.
When I think of self-perception, I always think of one of my favorite movies, French Kiss. Love, love, love that movie. I should seriously own that one. I remember when Luc is showing Kate his wine tasting kit thingey. He has her taste some red wine and then asks her to describe it. She says, "It's a bold wine with a hint of sophistication and lacking in pretension....Actually, I was just talking about myself."
So if I was to describe myself as a wine, I'd say, "I'm a earthy wine with a hint of simplicity and definitely lacking in pretention." But would others say that about me?
I'm an open person. I like to share feelings, positive and negative. I think I have this deep-seated need to be understood. So I'm out there. I'm sharing. Another quote from French Kiss that is sooo me:
Kate: A healthy person is someone who expresses what they're feeling inside. Express, not repress.
Luc: In that case, you must be one of the healthiest people in the world.
Yeah, I'm a sharer. I've had a lot of people tell me that they appreciate that about me, so I figure it's all good. However, every now and then, I'll have someone tell me that I push it a little too far. I had a dear guy friend in college tell me that the reason guys "ran away from me" was because I shared what I was feeling too much. Ouch. So I really do try to tone it down and keep it as positive as possible. I do want to be realistic, but I try to put a positive spin on the reality, ya know?
We all have roles within our families, right? We're kind of like the Beatles, where Paul was The Cute One, George was The Quiet One, John was The Smart One, and Ringo was The Funny One. To me, Nat's The Practical One in our family. Beads is The Hard Worker. Lex is The Funny One. I can't give The Smart One to any one of my sisters, because they are all insanely intelligent. They all have to share that designation.
I've never asked anybody which One I am, because, like I said before, I may not want to know.
I was right. I didn't want to know. :)
Mom and I were having a conversation about who-knows-what, and she made a comment that I was The Family Whiner.
Truly, I'm not offended by it. It actually made me laugh, and now I make jokes about it a lot. Like, if my kids are being bad and I'm telling Nat about it, I'll say something like, "I just had to tell you this to fulfill my duties as Official Family Whiner..." And Mom didn't mean offense. You've got to know that my mom is one of my most favorite people in the world. I adore her. She's one of my best friends. And a cool thing about our relationship is that we can be really honest with each other. No holds barred.
When I was gasping and punching her when she told me my family designation, she said, "Well, at least you're not The High Maintenance One. That's what my parents and siblings think of me." So see? Everyone has a designation, no matter what family you're in, and whether it's said out loud or not.
And really, it's good when someone can tell you something like that and you can take it and, instead of getting offended, think, "Wow, okay, then that's something I need to work on." What I felt was just expression of feelings may actually come off as whining. And I don't want to be known as a whiner. So I am working on it, I promise.
*Disclaimer - if any of this post has come off in a whining way, it was unintentional. :)