For the past two weeks, I've been bugging Ben about Valentine's Day: "What do you want for Valentine's Day?" His answer was always, "Nothing. Don't get me anything." We are saving for a trip... I just didn't want him to feel that I didn't care.
After much badgering, he said, "Why don't you just make me a nice card?" Which I was happy to do:
Then he came up with something.
He wanted a coupon book.
I HATE the concept of coupon books. Now, I don't want anyone out there who really loves coupon books to be mad at me for this. No hate comments, please. It's just my personal...non-preference. There are a few reasons for this. 1) I like to give real, tangible gifts. I'm not saying they have to be expensive. Just...holdable. You can see and touch and use them. 2) I think that expressions of love should be spontaneous. You should hold hands every time you possibly can, not because someone gave you a coupon requiring you to hold hands. You should have what Flight of the Conchords calls "Business Time" when both of you want to, not because your husband hands you a coupon for Business Time with a cheesy wiggle of his eyebrows. 3) I'm damn tired. I don't feel like giving anyone, even my husband, whom I adore, a half-hour massage. I can just picture coming home from spinning one night, sweaty and exhausted, and just exhausted in general, because I've been literally on my feet all day cleaning, wiping noses, wiping butts, cleaning up messes, making dinner, making kids do homework, driving them to their lessons, making the kids help with the dishes, finally getting them to bed, and then Ben handing me a coupon for a half an hour massage. And me going, "Jigga WHAT???"
Call me a cold-hearted snake. Call me a beeyotch. I'm just saying. Sometimes you don't feel like fulfilling these types of coupons. When all you do is give, give, give, you'd rather just buy your significant other a shirt and say, "Happy Valentine's Day! I love you!" No strings attached.
I used to be really great about being romantic when we were first married. I would decorate his car, do cute little scavenger hunts, etc.
And then we had kids.
And that was the end of that.
We're both too tired for that kind of nonsense. :) (And no, I don't think it's nonsense. I'm just being snarky. Because it's morning time, and I'm not a morning person. And because Micah just spilled one of those large-sized pixie sticks all over my carpet. No hate comments, please.)
Well, because I had no money, and because this is all Ben asked for, and because I love him, I made him a damn coupon book. I got the template for it here. Some of the coupons are printed out, and some of them are blank.
But I'm telling you, he'd better use these coupons judiciously. If he comes home and I have kids' boogers on my shirt and flour smeared on my face and he hands me a coupon for a make-out session (yes, I put that in there, too), I might punch him in the face. There's a time and a place for make-out sessions with your hubby, and it's not when you're covered with snot and flour. Or when your kids are around.
No hate comments, please.