Such a smart-arse.

I went to work one night, and I realized I hadn't helped Dylan do his homework. Which consists of sitting with him and saying, "Pick up the pencil you just dropped, please." "Sit down in your chair, Dylan." "Sit down, Dylan." "Butt in your seat, Dylan." "Write your name at the top, Dylan." "Name. Top. Now." "I can't read your name, Dylan. Erase it and write it so I can tell who is doing this worksheet." And so on and so forth.



It's special.



So I asked Ben to help Dyls with his homework while I was gone. When I came home, Ben was all wrapped up in watching some movie, so instead of asking Ben if he had remembered, I just peeked in Dyl's folder to make sure it got done. It's just the way it is - I have to always make sure Ben has done something I've asked. He's just a teeny-tiny bit forgetful.



This was the top of the worksheet:

And Dylan's answer to question number four:

"I don't"????? Jigga WHAT?



I asked Ben what the H. Had he even sat with Dylan while Dylan did his homework? Yes, he said. They had talked it over and both decided that was the best answer. He argued that we don't know if they're real bears. I told him that the fact that they live in a zoo means that they are real bears. And the fact that the narrator tells us that they're bears.



Ben says, "Well, what if the narrator is crazy, or is a pathological liar?"



"Ben, this is a first grade worksheet, not a high school exercise in narrator reliability."



Ben goes, "And just because they live in a zoo doesn't mean that they're animals."



"Ben, humans don't live in zoos."



"We don't know that. What if the narrator is talking about the stuffed bears in the gift shop?"


"Ben, stuffed bears don't sleep or eat."


"I stand by my answer."



He's such a smart-arse. I woke Dylan up a little early the next morning to scribble out his smart-arse answer and to have him write, in a complete sentence, "I know that they are real bears because the author tells me they are real bears."