Road Trip with Four Children and Two Elderly Ladies - Lessons Learned.

Welp, we're back.  Being the daft person I am, I drove 12 hours each way to Chelan, Washington with my kiddos, to Ben's mom and stepdad's house.  Ben rendezvoused with us there (he got off easy).  Being the not-knowing-my-kids-very-well people they are, Ben's great aunts asked to come along.  Needless to say, the drive was akin to Dante's 7th Level of Hell.  Here are some things I learned.

1.  Gage is scared of rest stop changing tables.
2.  Road trips are only fun with the two elderly ladies.  Or with just your hubby.  Or in college.  Road trips are NOT fun with small children.
3.  Micah has inherited my tiny bladder.
4.  Gage is really scared of rest stop changing tables.
5.  In-car DVD players are a Godsend.
6.  Dylan can't ride next to Micah.
7.  Dylan can't ride next to Sadie.
8.  Micah can't ride next to Gage.
9.  Micah can't ride next to Sadie.
10.  Don't buy stuffed animals at rest stops.  Unless you think it's fun for your toddler to have a severe reaction to whatever the H is on that stuffed animal for the next several days.
11.  Gage is super-duper scared of rest stop changing tables.
12.  It's really important to change a toddler's diaper every few hours.
13.  Lunchables are a Godsend.
14.  Micah will pee anytime, anywhere, in front of anyone.
15.  Sadie will pee anytime, anywhere, in front of anyone.
16.  Dylan will only pee in a rest room with a toilet.  And only if it doesn't smell funny.
17.  Oregon's speed limit is reeeeeeeeeeeeally low.
18.  I like Red Vines.
19.  I like Coke.
20.  Ben's great aunts are going straight to heaven for having survived this ordeal.
21.  Gage is extremely scared of rest stop changing tables.
22.  Children's Benadryl does not knock out two-year-olds or four-year-olds.  It just makes them really pissy.
23.  Gage will only sleep in his crib or pack-n-play.
24.  Micah can only function on long car rides if he sits in back with an adult and has her attention every second.
25.  Micah doesn't sleep in cars, either.
26.  Despicable Me sounds like a cute movie.  I haven't seen it, but I've now heard it five times.
27.  I cannot even describe to you how scared Gage is of rest stop changing tables.
28.  Dylan likes Cream Soda.  That's his first choice.  Second choice is root beer.  Third choice is Bug Juice.
29.  Sadie's first choice is Coke.  Her second choice is Coke.  Her third choice is Coke.
30.  Hagerman, Idaho is a raging inferno of heat.  It's like someone transplanted the Sahara Desert right there to the northwest of Boise.  This is Idaho we're talking about!!  Where does Hagerman get off being hot??
31.  Female senior citizens really, really love the Hallmark Channel.  And Jeopardy.
32.  I'm so glad I didn't grow up during the 1930's in Menan, Idaho.  No electricity.  No indoor toilet.  No central heat in the house.  Yikes.
33.  Ben's Great Aunt Myrna knows roughly 10,000 cute children's songs.
34.  Dylan is officially addicted to the iPad.
35.  Sadie asks, "Are we there yet?"  roughly five times per hour.  For 12 hours each way.
36.  Gage is deathly scared of rest stop changing tables.
37.  Next time we go to Chelan, we're flying.  End of story.

We got back at about 9:30 last night.  In celebration of our return, Gage pooped in the tub last night.  And Xena celebrated her return home today by promptly killing a bird.

It's good to be home.