This is Micah, getting wiped off. This was right after the normal suctioning of the mouth, but before we knew that he wasn't breathing. It's like he was holding his breath for a really long time:
Still holding his breath, while Ben cuts the umbilical cord:
This was after we realized that he wasn't inhaling or exhaling. There were three nurses working on Micah. That big turquoise bag was for sucking the blood out of Micah's stomach:
This was after the suctioning was done, and the nurses were giving him oxygen:
Here he is, finally out of danger:
They were finally able to weigh him and do all that normal stuff:
Heaving a sigh of relief, and still kind of heaving from all the pushing:
Then the nurses bundled him up...
And gave him to me!!:
Micah and me, after a successful first breastfeeding:
The success didn't last long, sadly. When I got mastitis, my breasts weren't producing enough milk for Micah, so we had to supplement, and we noticed that my milk really upsets his stomach, no matter how careful I was in what I ate. His tummy is much happier on formula. So I decided to just make him a formula baby. It's hard, because I'm weaning my breasts now, and it's emotionally difficult for me to see all that breast milk that my body is making - dumped right down the sink. I feel like a total failure of a mother. Of course, everything is emotional nowadays. I went to work last night and cried the whole time. But today has been kind of an okay day. Micah still isn't sleeping very well, but hopefully he'll figure it out soon.
4 comments:
Fun pictures. What a scary birth. Sounds like when I had Austin. Austin wasn't breathing, I hated watching and not being able to do anything ... just waiting for him to breath! I hope things get better! Don't feel bad you can't breast feed. IT doesn't make you a bad mother. I had a horrible time with my first two, you just have to do what you can.
Dude, I feel like a better mother when I'm NOT breastfeeding. But you know how I feel about all of that. :)
We need to spend less time as moms feeling guilty. Sanity is worth more than all the breastmilk in the world. (And this is coming from a very pro-breastfeeding girl!) We should get together and just cry. I've been doing my fair share of that too.
I still am so shocked when I think of how scary that must have felt for you both. Don't feel bad about not breastfeeding, it is really up to you. Formula nowadays is really great, so please don't feel guilty, you are a GREAT mom! I love ya to pieces!
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