No Downs!!!

I got my amnio results on Friday - Gage is Downs-free!!! He has no chromosome abnormalities. What a blessing. I'm very relieved, but the truth is, I knew, deep down, that he didn't have it. That was one of the things in Ben's blessing he gave me after my amniocentesis. There have been many, many blessings I've gotten where I'm not told what the outcome of a particular trial will be. I'm usually told to stay strong and be brave and to stay close to Heavenly Father. But this time, I was told absolutely, unequivically, what the result of all this was - that Gage didn't have Downs. So, when I got the test results from the doctor that day, it was just a nice cherry on top of the Peace Sundae I was given after my amnio.



I know that there were so, so many people in my life praying for my family and my baby. I felt your prayers. They were palpable. And they strengthened me.



I also know that, if this test result had been the one I didn't want, it would have been God's will. And He would have helped me and blessed me. Would it have been hard? YES. But everything happens for a reason. His plan is the perfect plan. We can't boss Him around.

And let me make clear that I love people with Downs. They are loveable and such rays of sunshine. I'm not dissing on the Downs. But did I want that for my son? No. I want him to grow up and go on a mission and to college. I want him to get married and give me grandbabies. That's obviously my preference. But I do know that kids with Downs bring so many blessings to their families. And I know that they are perfect spirit children of our Heavenly Father.



I apologize for not posting the second I found out (Friday afternoon). I was trying to pack up and get everything done so I could leave town. My gorgeous, amazing, superwoman BFF, Pooh, had her baby last week, so I went to SLC to snuggle that little fuzzy baby and to spend time with Pooh for the weekend. Pictures to come.



Last week, I officially turned four months along. I had Dylie take a pic of my belly for your enjoyment:

My bangs look so gross. I cut them myself last time - not a good plan. I look like Dwight Schrute. Seriously.



I'm starting to feel a little bit better in the mornings. So I hurry and clean and fold laundry while I have the energy and don't feel gross. Then the exhaustion and nausea hit me pretty hard at about one o'clock.



I feel compelled to make a couple of lists. Indulge me.



Things I Hate About This Pregnancy


1. Pubic Symphysis Diastasis. It makes me feel a little bit like this:

That's a pig. But if he was alive and they were doing this, he would feel how I feel.

Sorry I grossed you out with the picture. I might have lost all three of my readers...

2. Heartburn that makes me feel like I'm being stabbed.
3. Nausea. Still. I still barf every morning.
4. Exhaustion.
5. Spit overproduction. I don't know what the deal is. It's like I'm swallowing gallons upon gallons of spit every day.
6. Loogie overproduction. I cough them up all day long.
7. My face looks like a pizza. I can't use my normal benzoyl peroxide wash. So it's pimple mania for me.
8. I can't sleep on my bed. It feels like a flat examination table that I'm going to roll off. I can't explain it. It's so weird.
9. Poofy fingers. Yep, that's already happening.
10. I don't have a cute ball belly yet. It's still just fluffy and fatty. People go to pat my tummy, then retract their hand speedily. It's gross.
11. That amniocentesis gave me PTSD. Not kidding.
12. Smells are really intense for me this time around. I have a bloodhound nose. And it isn't pleasant.
13. Nothing ever tastes good. I don't want to cook.
14. Breath is also a huge problem for me. Anyone breathing in my vicinity creates a bit of a problem. I hold my breath when I kiss Ben. I think it hurts his feelings. I was snuggling with Dylan on the couch tonight, and I had to ask him to brush his teeth for me. I'm such a jerk.
15. My Anti-Lutheran Antigen problem is still there, looming in the background. An intra-uterine blood transfusion would cause even worse PTSD, I think.
16. Restless Legs Syndrome at night. It's a killer.


Things I Like About This Pregnancy

Um.....

Let me think....

Oh. I have some good ones.

1. My baby doesn't have Downs Syndrome.
2. I've started to feel him kick!! He's small enough where it's cute right now.
3. I get to see him every two weeks for an ultrasound (because of my Anti-Lutheran thing).
4. I know this is my last pregnancy. It gives me a lot of happiness whenever I think of that.

And um, yeah... that's it.

I hope you don't think of my blog as the Negative Blog Winner of the Year. I like to think that I'm keepin' it real. Life is great and hard, all at the same time. I just like to be honest. I show the good and the bad.

And right now, despite how miserable I am when I'm pregnant, life is pretty stinkin' good. My baby is doing alright. That's all that matters.