I got an AFP test on Monday - it's a blood test to see if the baby might have certain problems - spina bifida, Down's Syndrome, etc. My doc called me yesterday to tell me that my blood indicates a higher possibility that my baby has Down's Syndrome. The normal girl my age has a 1 in 450 chance of having a baby with Down's. My blood shows my chance as being 1 in 125.
I cried for a long time. I know that children with mental disabilities are special children. They are innocent and perfect. They bring huge blessings to their families. But it's not something I would ever wish for. I worry about my capability to deal with the extra difficulties this baby would have. I worry about being able to take care of all four of my children.
Our doc said we could get an amniocentesis to find out for sure, or we could just wait until we delivered. Ben and I decided that we just have to find out. I did a little bit of research and talked to my doc about the risks involved. I could have a bit of amniotic fluid leakage. Some cramping. The risk of harming the baby is very minimal. I need to just prepare myself. If the baby has Down's, I need to know, so I can wrap my mind around it.
We don't have a perinatologist here; he comes up once a month. (I saw him Wednesday. He has a cool accent. Like maybe South African or New Zealand or something.) My option was to get tested on April 14th and get the test results at the end of April, or go down to Salt Lake next week and get the test results two weeks after that. I chose Salt Lake. (I'm calling you, Pooh. Obviously I want to hang out with you afterwards, if you aren't going into labor!)
So that is that. I did okay yesterday evening, but then bedtime hit and I was a wreck again. I asked Ben for a blessing, and that really helped. As usual, the blessing didn't give any indication of what I really need to know, but it said that this baby will be a force of peace and happiness in our home. And that Heavenly Father has important plans for him.
Ben feels totally at peace. He's not worried at all. I'm getting there. :)
Prayers, please?
12 comments:
Definately... prayers headed your way!
That has to be incredibly hard. If I can help you with anything please give me a call!
You will be in our prayers - I think it really is in our nature to worry. I had a-lot of concerns about Joseph and Kris was just like Ben reassuring me that everything would be fine. I remember you telling me that you knew Heavenly Father wanted you to have this baby now, so even though it is hard just remember that he is in the Lord's hands and He is in control. All you need to do is trust Him (I know that is easier said then done). keep us posted!
Wow, Kar. You're in my prayers! And if you have time and would like to, I'd love to see you.
Absolutely NO pressure at all, I promise! I know this will be a stressful time for you, so you need to do what's best and take care of yourself.
All will be well. I can feel it!
When I was pregnant with Erin they told me that she was going to have the worst kind of downs syndrome and they doubted that she would live more than a few days and that we should abort the baby. Dave and I decided that what happened would happen. Erin was born and she was just fine. I believe that doctors will try to prepare you for the worst. Either way, I am sure he will be well loved.
oh i will be praying for you Kar! Those kids are hard- but they are so loveable! it wont be bad and everything will work out for the best!
I will keep you in my prayers and on the TF temple prayer roll. There is nothing like having a bunch of cowboys and farmwives praying for you. I'm glad Ben gave you a blessing. Only the Spirit can bring peace when we are fearful about our families. Thanks for setting such a great example!
I'm sorry for all the stress! I know exactly what you are going through. Our boy has two soft markers, which amounts to the same thing. Is there anything we can do to help while you are in Salt Lake?
Kar -
I'm thinking about you and praying - if you need a place to stay in Orem - we've got 2 empty beds.
Love you!
Those test are wrong A LOT!!! Everything will be okay! I hope you feel peace.
I'm sure you're stressed about receiving that news. We'll all pray for the best. Just have some peace knowing that those tests have HIGH false positive results. no matter what happens though, he'll be an adorable baby. HUGS
Have faith in your blessing and the peace Ben feels. I'm still praying for you and know that one way or the other all will work out and be well! Love ya!
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