Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Reaching New Lows


Last Wednesday was such a HARD day for me. The kids were acting insane. My cousin, Kort, and I have a theory - spring is in the air. It's making our kids a little crazy. Hers were acting nutty that day, too. I was stuck with these tyrant children of mine all day long, and then Ben had a stupid basketball game that night, so I was stuck alone with them again.

Micah does this scream-bloody-murder thing lately (which is my FAVORITE), and he was in his high chair, screaming, not eating, and throwing his food.

I lost it.

I started throwing food back at him. I would pick up a piece of hot dog or string cheese, throw it at his face, and yell at him. I think the following words escaped my mouth: "You make my life a living HELL!!!"

His face was so funny - just total shock. My kids' faces, too. I look back now and giggle, because it's so ludicrous, but at the time, I felt like I was losing my mind. When Ben came home from enjoying exercise without children, I was lying on the couch, staring at the wall. "You are in a bad place now, aren't you?" he said. "Yep," said I.

Do I need to up my dosage of anti-depressants? Maybe. All I want to do is sleep. All day. All night. I hide from my children in my bed or the bathtub. I don't care about doing things that I usually care about doing. I have so much RAGE inside. All of these are red flags. We'll see. I might talk to the doc about it next week at my appointment. It's just been a hard couple of weeks for me.

Thanks for listening.

9 comments:

Paul and Kelsi said...

I love you!! keep it up! you are an amazing mother! We all have our off days!

Emily Empey said...

oh my goodness! you poor thing! you crack me up!! I just love ya!! Hang in there!!

Nat said...

Do you remember when Mom lined us all up against the pantry doors and threw cream of wheat at us? Good times, good times.

Mindy H. said...

I think we would all be in a much better emotional and/or mental place if we took time out of our busy schedules to throw food at people who are annoying us. The next time a mom comes into school and complains to me I am so going to give that a try. I hope you get feeling better soon. You deserve a whole lot of good days to ballance out the tough ones.

The Dillons said...

:( I'm sorry Karlenn. You are a great mother! Woods did that and sometimes I would just start screaming with him. He would just start laughing at me. Hang in there and love ya!

Camille said...

Kar -
We ALL have days like that - so don't let people fool you into thinking they are better than you. We ALL have days like it.
Hang in there!

Anonymous said...

Oh, Kars! When you told me about this I totally felt for you! I so feel like doing the same thing with my kids sometimes! The joys of motherhood!:P

Carrie said...

I remember the story of your mom throwing, I think it was chicken, at you and your sisters. Good thing your kids aren't old enough that they will remember and hold it against you. Hang in there!

Lyndsay said...

Awww, Sweetie hang in there. It will get better in a few months! And if it helps, go ahead and throw that food!

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