I Promise I Don't Beat My Children...

Dude, every day, when I take Dylan to preschool, I seriously wonder if they are going to call CPS on me. He always has bruises and scratches everywhere. Sadie, too. She runs into the kitchen table all the time. She just doesn't pay attention to where she's going. Here's Dylan's scratch from Ben - I think I told you about this before - they were playing "bear," and Ben was pawing at the air, and Dylan tripped and fell into Ben's fingernail, essentially. He has a big old scar from that incident still, unfortunately. And Sadie is showing a bruise on her forehead, from running into the table, of course:

And here is Dylan, showing his scratches from Titan. Titan is a large breed, hyper puppy, so when Dylan tackles him, chokes him, kicks him (we get him into trouble whenever we see such behavior, but we can't catch everything), the dog thinks, "Ooooh, it's time to PLAY!!!!" And he starts jumping all around and pawing the air. And sometimes his paws make contact with Dylan's face. He's as tall as Dylan is when he stands on his hind legs. So Dylan looks like he's been hit by shrapnel. None of the rest of us have dog wounds, and I keep telling Dylan that, if he wouldn't pick on Titan, he wouldn't get scratched. He doesn't get it yet: