Friday, March 28, 2008

Peace Out, Titan.

Alright. I've been too ashamed to tell everyone this news, but it must be done. I got rid of Titan a few days ago. I was seriously about to have a nervous breakdown. I had finally potty-trained him, but all day long, all he did was chew on stuff and jump all over my kids. I spent my entire day finding out where he was in the house and taking things out of his mouth. I'd be showering, and Dylan or Sadie would inevitably come into the bathroom, crying, because Titan had gotten too excited and bitten or scratched them. I had to keep all bedroom and bathroom doors closed, because he would find things to destroy. I have torn ligaments in my hip, and it's extremely painful to bend over, yet that's what I did all day long, to keep him out of things, to keep him from destroying things, etc. I was also concerned about when our baby comes in June. I would like to give the baby tummy time and floor play time, and was the dog going to jump all over him? Lick his face until the baby can't breathe?? Ben and I had been talking for a few weeks about maybe giving him to a new home, but we always felt too guilty to do it. He really loved that dog, but he said he would support whatever I needed to do, because I'm the one at home with the dog all day.

I can't remember if it was Monday or Tuesday, but I was mixing tuna fish in the kitchen for lunch. Dylan asked if he could vacuum the couch, and I was like, well, sure. If that's what you want to do... After about five minutes, I went to the living room to tell Dylan that he had probably vacuumed enough. Dylan had taken the cushions off the couch to vacuum them, and the dog was on the bottom of the couch, where there are springs and stuffing, and there's a liner over them. He had torn the liner off and was taking all the stuffing out. I was like, ahhhhhh!!!! So I put the stuffing back in, and kind of...tucked the lining in, and replaced the cushions, thinking, jeez, that's another thing he has destroyed... And I go back into the kitchen to finish the tuna sandwiches, and Titan had pulled the bowl of tuna mix off the counter and was eating it. I was like, THAT IS IT.

I took the kids with me and took Titan to the pound, straightaway. I knew he'd get adoped in a millisecond, because he's a purebred. I took his paperwork and everything. So we get into the foyer, and I'm about to pay the fee to turn Titan over, and some people were leaving. They had been looking for a dog and hadn't really found anything, and they stopped in their tracks when they saw Titan. They couldn't believe I was getting rid of him, but I explained my situation. I explained that he is the sweetest dog ever, but I just couldn't play with him as much as he needed. He's a hunting dog, after all - meant to be active. And I'm just so busy with the kids and the house. The people were looking for a hunting dog and a companion for their golden retriever. They live on two acres in Shelley, and their kids are older (less likely to be trampled by Titan). They asked if they could have Titan, and I said yes. They seem like they will be a really good family for him. I gave them his paperwork and all his toys and dog biscuits. I told the kids to say goodbye to Titan, and they were like, "See ya!" They seriously didn't care one bit!!

I've been really sad, off and on - I've even cried a couple of times - because like I said, I thought he was so sweet. And I feel really guilty. I always thought I was a dog person, but apparently, I'm not. But I need to respect my emotional state, you know? Sometimes, Sadie or Dylan asks where Titan is, and I remind them that we gave Titan to a new family, and they go, oh yeah. And then they return to playing. Ben has been sad, too, but he has been supportive of my decision. He really is more of a cat person, anyways. But we're NOT getting another animal for many, many years - and not a dog ever again. (Plus, I'm allergic to all cats but persians.) I just don't want to clean up another animal's pee and poop anymore, you know? I'm busy cleaning up my daughter's pee and poop. I'm sick of my life revolving around pee and poop!! I don't need the bother. I'm stressed out enough.

And my life feels about 70 times easier. I'm serious. I can take off my shoes and not put them in the closet right away. I always had to put them away immediately, or the dog would chew on them. I can sit on the couch with a blanket on my legs, and there's no dog chewing on the blanket incessantly, no matter how many times I shoved him away. The kids are no longer getting bludgeoned. My load feels considerably lighter. It's made a huge difference. I know this was the right decision, but it was still really hard.

I wanted to put the last few pictures I took of Titan on here, but it's too hard for me to look at them. I hope all of you don't think the worse of me for having done this. I feel like a cold-hearted snake, as Paula Abdul would say. I've learned my lesson. And I hope Titan is okay.

9 comments:

Amy said...

Sorry to hear about Titan. That makes two friends this week that had to give up their dogs. It will be for the best though. Don't beat yourself up about it. My parents had to get rid of my dog when I was five and I have no hard feelings at all- You just gotta do what's right for your family. For us that is no pets at all.

Chad said...

That's too bad that it's been such a tough week. Good job biting the bullet though. You don't have to feel guilty for giving the dog a good home, and giving him away to another good home.

Lynita said...

I was starting to feel really sad, until I read the remark about Paula Abdul and then I started laughing! I am sorry about Titan, but I can tell you I know your pain. Koda was such a beautiful dog and really sweet. But when I was pregnant with Ethan I wanted to kill him! I also tried having a cat when I was prego with Kaitlyn and lets just say that she was never called by her actual name...and I can't write what I actually called her. I think you definately did what you had to do, and it will be better for everyone. You do have a lot to deal with right now and the last thing you need is a young dog. Tell Ben that Ryan knows just how he feels, we both still miss Koda too.

deannah said...

That's such a hard thing to do. If it makes you feel any better, I did the same things with our cats. I have always loved cats and got them 4 years ago. But they still had claws and I was worried about Mason. Plus the litter boxes. We were so over that. And one of them tore up our couch. And we were traveling a lot and always had to worry about leaving them. Such a hassle. Needless to tell you, they were becoming more work than fun and I decided they had to go. I made Mike take care of it though because it was too hard for me. I was quite attached. But sometimes you have to do what you have to do. Even though I knew they were gone I would look around the house for them automatically for a couple weeks and then it stopped. I was sad for a little while but now when I think about it, it was really the best decision.

anjie said...

Don't feel guilty. Don't feel guilty. Don't feel guilty!! Save your guilt for when you've done something bad. This is not bad at ALL! He will be fine. You are less stressed, which creates a better mom, wife, and home for your family. I wish I could get rid of some of the things that are overwhelming me right now!

Nicole said...

Well, I'm with you Karlenn. I love dogs....from a distance. All my siblings are getting them, but I just CAN'T! Kids are enough, i don't need an animal. Maybe someday....

Way to preserve your sanity! And it sounds like he was sent to a perfect home....all that LAND!

Gifford Family said...

I feel for ya! I am so not a dog person (sounds insensitive!) I like dogs and all, I just don't want to be the one to take care of them. Austin has been bugging me for one for quite awhile, I keep telling him we need a fence first and that could be awhile before we can afford that!

Jenny said...

what a hard decision. i hope that you're doing ok w/ it. really. titan probably loves his new golden retriever friend and all that shelley land to run around. :)

sometimes i think about getting a dog, and then i think, maybe in 10 or 15 years. :)

Nat said...

Titan was cute, but he needed to be on a bunch of land, not a house dog. I liked growing up with dogs, but I wasn't the one that had to house train, and feed, and give shots, etc. I think about that now, and I have a hard enough time keeping on top of cleaning and taking care of kids, and I know I don't want to own any pets-too much hassle. P.S.-I put my word verification back on because I got a couple of spam messages!

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