Monday, April 14, 2008

Seussian Poem

Oh my gosh. Sorry, Michelle, for stealing this off your blog, but I just about peed my pants laughing when I read this. I had to put it on mine, too.
The Girl in a Whirl
by ‘Dr. Sue’
(a.k.a. Vickie Gunther)
Look at me, look at me, look at me now!
You could do what I do
If you only knew how.
I study the scriptures one hour each day;
I bake,
I upholster,
I scrub,
and I pray.
I always keep all the commandments completely;
I speak to my little ones gently and sweetly.
I help in their classrooms!
I sew all they wear!
I drive them to practice!
I cut all their hair!
I memorize names of the General Authorities;
I focus on things to be done by priorities.
I play the piano!
I bless with my talents!
My toilets all sparkle!
My checkbooks all balance!
Each week every child gets a one-on-one date;
I attend all my meetings (on time! Never late!)
I’m taking a class on the teachings of Paul,
But that is not all! Oh, no. That is not all …
I track my bad habits ‘til each is abolished;
Our t-shirts are ironed!
My toenails are polished!
Our family home evenings are always delightful;
The lessons I give are both fun and insightful.
I do genealogy faithfully, too.
It’s easy to do all the things that I do!
I rise each day early, refreshed and awake;
I know all the names of each youth in my stake!
I read to my children!
I help all my neighbors!
I bless the community, too, with my labors.
I exercise and I cook menus gourmet;
My visiting teaching is done the first day!
(I also go do it for someone who missed hers.
It’s the least I can do for my cherished ward sisters.)
I chart resolutions and check off each goal;
I seek each “lost lamb” on my Primary roll.
I can home-grown produce each summer and fall.
But that is not all! Oh, no. That is not all …
I write in my journal!
I sing in the choir!
Each day, I write “thank you’s” to those I admire.
My sons were all Eagles when they were fourteen!
My kids get straight A’s!
And their bedrooms are clean!
I have a home business to help make some money;
I always look beautifully groomed for my honey.
I go to the temple at least once a week;
I change the car’s tires!
I fix the sink’s leak!
I grind my own wheat and I bake all our bread;
I have all our meals planned out six months ahead.
I make sure I rotate our two-years’ supply;
My shopping for Christmas is done by July!
These things are not hard;
It’s good if you do them;
You can if you try!
Just set goals and pursue them!
It’s easy to do all the things that I do!
If you plan and work smart, you can do them all, too!
It’s easy!” she said ……
and then she dropped dead.

6 comments:

Gifford Family said...

Love it! I am stealing this! Thanks for sharing.

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad I'm finished with that part of my life because I did it, I did it, I did it all and by so doing it I had a ball!

Unknown said...

Oh man. did she drop dead cause I shot her?!?!? :)

Layton Mom said...

That is hilarious!

Nat said...

Wow, did she video tape my life to come up with that poem? (Ha. Ha.)

deannah said...

Oh my gosh. That is hilarious. I love it.

And April, I don't know you, but I LOVE your comment!

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